Today, a coworker asked me out and we’ve been on a few dates. I had no idea why she’d want to date me, until after we had sex and she started crying and confessed she was molested as a teen, and since her attacker was short and gross like me, she wanted to use me to work out her repressed issues. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a mutual friend of mine told me that I could do much better than my girlfriend. I ended up asking her who would want to date me. The next thing I know, she was all over me. Needless to say it didn’t take much for her to tempt me and we ended up screwing like rabbits. FML
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
Today, after what I thought was several weeks of flirting with a coworker, I asked her out on a date. She asked if it could be a double date, and I said yes. I brought a friend, she brought her husband. FML
Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, a sex phone worker asked me if I was alright and recommended I get some kind of therapy. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Man, I don’t know what to say here except I’m sorry. She should not have pulled you into this without your explicit, informed consent, and to insult you to your face to boot is just… I have no words.
cuz803 46
Never speak to her again. Ignore her forever and act like she never existed whenever possible. Try to limit interaction with her as much as possible.
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Comments (5)
Anderling 33
Man, I don’t know what to say here except I’m sorry. She should not have pulled you into this without your explicit, informed consent, and to insult you to your face to boot is just… I have no words.
cuz803 46
Never speak to her again. Ignore her forever and act like she never existed whenever possible. Try to limit interaction with her as much as possible.
Iamthebanzai22 21
That sucks. I am really sorry, it must hurt. Although you could be forgiven for not wanting to speak to her again, if I were you I would put my own ego away and reach out to her. Help her break the cycle, help her talk about it and maybe that will help you to be less hurt about it as well.
joseph_rod_05 14
i’m really sorry this happened to you, but i kinda feel bad for her too. it’s not okay what she did but still
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like fun. Sometimes being short and gross can really pay off, but don't get used to it.