Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, my boyfriend apparently lied to me when he'd said we could get a dog one day. I bought a puppy for him in secret but as soon as he saw it he was all, "What the hell is that? We’re not keeping it." It’s now with his parents, as he didn’t want it overnight or even in the house. FML
Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML
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Top comments
Moskaaa7 26
It's your fault for trying to get him to agree to something he clearly doesn't want.
zeffra13 31
"Begging my bf to get us a dog"? You mean "trying to convince my bf we should get a dog" right? Not begging like a little kid to make someone buy you something expensive? I love dogs but you don't sound mature enough to take care of one.
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Comments (101)
embarass 14
Sassy
N7Com 7
ahahahahahahahhahahahahaaggaagagagahahahahahahaha that should have been discussed before the relationship.. i like him already and im a dog person
Tripartita 45
I hardly see what being half-dog-half-human has to do with your comment. If anything, you'd probably be a supporter of the canine liberation movement.
PoopholeSurprise 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dump him. That's just cruel. And dog lovers make better SOs.
prodigy2013 4
Haha is that people's answer for everything. You don't even know their situation. Mby they can't afford a dog. Mby he's allergic to them. My roommate keeps asking for a dog when she can barely even afford the fking cat she got.
thatguy221 5
you seem kinda of dumb your self so many you should delete your account see what I did there
Soniarita 18
how rude. I would just get the dog myself if I were you OP.
aspecialspecial 21
And if I was op's girl friend I would probably dump you for that.
Oceanborn_fml 24
Yes, because bringing a creature into a household where it's clearly not wanted is such a good idea.
psychoIogical 12
it's actually partially wanted. that kinda sounds like saying if a woman is pregnant by a man who doesn't want a child she should abort it in a way.
jamieblue6 16
I don't like dogs but I would probably eventually give in to my S.O because I love them
kfchicken 31
then why doesn't op give into her SO, does she not love him?
Moskaaa7 26
It's your fault for trying to get him to agree to something he clearly doesn't want.
Kitsi 14
Grow up
brocho 26
#22, Sorry, who should grow up? I personally think #6's answer is very mature and logical. If anything, being inconsiderate of your significant other's feelings is a sign that someone needs to grow up, not the other way around.
Ni_knight_mp 5
It's possible that both OP and their SO need to grow up, as neither appear to be very considerate of each other's feelings. If the boyfriend has been absolutely clear that he doesn't want a dog rather than equivocating and giving op false hope, then she needs to respect him and drop it. Either way, telling someone you're in a relationship with to stick anything up their ass, especially when they are hoping for good news, is a dick move.
Ryan_Alvarez 15
Maybe he is a cat person, he seems like a pussy
M3DO 24
Well they say you are what you eat
Mylehz 13
could be allergic to dogs, had trauma around dogs, maybe can't even afford the dog, probably knows his girlfriend damn well won't take care of it so he'll have to... could be many things
CrassKal 27
Take it as a hint to get off his back. You try to force someone and they will resist you even more.
stryder9090 28
That attitude doesn't deserve a dog.
zeffra13 31
"Begging my bf to get us a dog"? You mean "trying to convince my bf we should get a dog" right? Not begging like a little kid to make someone buy you something expensive? I love dogs but you don't sound mature enough to take care of one.