Blindsided
Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
doggylove
Winnipeg, Canada
Good boy
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
hopeless romantic
Dayton, United States
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Confession
Belgium
Get the message
Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML
Anonymous
The Voice
Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML
Anonymous
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
fledermausi
Budapest, Hungary
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
WoofWoof
United States
Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He went quiet, and I heard barking in the background. FML
Anonymous
Waste not, want not
Today, my boyfriend sent me a long text breaking up with me and calling me "selfish", all because I fed my dog half of the roast he made us for dinner. He knows damn well I feed her a raw diet. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You’ll get them back in a day or so, but this month you’re going to have a shitty outlook on life.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You know that little footnote on the bottom of the label that says "Keep out of reach of children"? That should apply to dogs, as well. I'd like to know how he managed to get them.
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
You know that little footnote on the bottom of the label that says "Keep out of reach of children"? That should apply to dogs, as well. I'd like to know how he managed to get them.
RichardPencil 32
You’ll get them back in a day or so, but this month you’re going to have a shitty outlook on life.
bluhbluhbluh 14
that's a better psychic reading than most these days.
whiskey'swino 15
If it is in nose reach then it can (and will) get eaten. You are the one who needs to be responsible.
hellphone_fml 37
I hate the puppy stage. It's going to get worse as the puppy gets taller. My stupid baby apparently jumped from the bed onto my dresser to reach my top shelf and ate my pill bottle and pills. While also knocking everything off my dresser.
TheSminty1 17
He wants to watch what he eats more closely.