Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, my boyfriend apparently lied to me when he'd said we could get a dog one day. I bought a puppy for him in secret but as soon as he saw it he was all, "What the hell is that? We’re not keeping it." It’s now with his parents, as he didn’t want it overnight or even in the house. FML
Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML
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Top comments
Moskaaa7 26
It's your fault for trying to get him to agree to something he clearly doesn't want.
zeffra13 31
"Begging my bf to get us a dog"? You mean "trying to convince my bf we should get a dog" right? Not begging like a little kid to make someone buy you something expensive? I love dogs but you don't sound mature enough to take care of one.
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Comments (101)
Ravenbird0072 11
I don't think OP meant she was literally begging her boyfriend to go spend his money on the dog for her. The term begging can be used as a figure of speech. She probably meant that she was asking him if it would be okay to have a dog, since she really wants one, and she's been trying to convince him. No, she shouldn't force him to get what he doesn't want. However, there's nothing wrong with trying to convince someone of something. Since she's been asking him and trying to convince him instead of running out and getting one without his knowledge, I really don't see the problem.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'd dump the guy and get and keep the dog.
marthamydear23 9
Yikes. he sounds like a real charmer.