Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
Is he a folder or a buncher?
Quasar55_fml 18
Hope he took notes. Test on monday.
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Comments (53)
amerwin 3
Is he a folder or a buncher?
Phil135 4
Heh something about this statement made me laugh
bbuba 0
I bunch but I know it's a waste a paper... folding is a waste of tome though
nickstud 0
I enjoy my poops so time doesn't matter. folder
BWill9014 4
folder all the way!
ILoveEggnog 7
Folder.
tiernang 21
Buncher
xGabri3L 3
So..
mikolyshka 0
well, she does live in the UK...
Bobissmall 13
I know right! It's not as if they are American, her dad should have an IQ above 50... Oh look, i can do stereotypes too!
elizabeth705 0
^ awesome
chaimuffin_fml 0
does this remind anyone else of borat?
blad11 0
How is this bad. Don't you want your boyfriend to know this?
PeteyPablo12308 20
Umm, hopefully he would already know how to use toilet paper... That's kindof a required life skill dontcha think?
irish_unity 0
Like putting the toilet seat down ?
taintedblue 3
such a long conversation about poop. isn't there an expert who can resolve the mystery?
irish_unity 0
Super Mario , you know , with being a plumber and all , and dealing with shit everyday ....
Doortje 30
..why? : Did your boyfriend make such a retarded impression that your dad thought he wouldn't know how to perform such a basic action?
jazziness 12
I was just thinking that
anonymous2003 0
Either the boyfriend is a retard or the dad is.
Quasar55_fml 18
Hope he took notes. Test on monday.
palltaru 0
lol
whitewoods 3
Your father just doesn't want him to be a shitty boyfriend.
No_LoveMM 3
HA!
Phil135 4
I love puns :)
Akando 0
I LOVE IT!!!!!
perdix 31
Your dad could probably smell that your boyfriend doesn't know how to (or doesn't care to) wipe himself properly. YDI for having anosmia and a penchant for unclean men.
Yudith 28
Or the boyfriend comes from India, Morocco, or any other place where people use water instead of toilet paper, and Dad is a big ol'racist.
kmarrs 2
Um, isn't that a problem just for women based on the location of "plumbing"? I don't think the boyfriend has to worry about that. I could be wrong... FYI, I'm not saying men don't get UTIs. I'm just saying it's not from how they wipe.
blahblahblah5_x 13
Awkward.
emmlily 0
Haha, why would your Dad think that your boyfriend didn't know how to use it? That must have made the situation pretty awkward.