Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML
Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
ragnarok1540 39
Borrow a life from your cat ... he's got nine anyway.
luther48 20
In the words of Ron Swanson, "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless."
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Comments (32)
moodyreallyrocks 27
A life is important..
luther48 20
In the words of Ron Swanson, "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless."
ragnarok1540 39
Borrow a life from your cat ... he's got nine anyway.
prettygurl89 16
This is soooooo me lol
arrowgold 19
Do you still love him as much as you originally were going to tell him you did?
FranklyYes 9
Kissing is something thats unique for humans to show affection. If you realy wanted to show that you love your cat you could cuddle more
ssnow_fml 20
I don't understand cat people.
wondercat40 28
One time my dad peed on my cat
brownapple 22
...how?
wondercat40 28
actually, it's more innocent than I made it sound. My cat a while ago was fascinated with toilets, and was watching my dad pee. Unfortunately, he ended up trying look closer into the toilet bowl and unknowingly his head collided with my dad's stream, which got pee all over him
TheRealStunts 27
That happened to me once with my budgie. He liked to bathe and always got in the sink whenever he heard the water running. Needless to say he flew into the stream of piss and i had to turn the sink on to let him have a real bath >__>
PMprotege 9
your dad had to assert his dominance
Unenunciable 14
So, since you've already made the sacrifice I must now ask: What did it taste like?
PhantomKitty 26
My cat sneezes on me all the time. And then she licks her boogers. She's disgusting.
sillymama 21
Sounds like you a special relationship.