Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML
Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML
Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML
Today, after studying for an exam, I decided to take a short nap. Just then, our neighbors, who were a couple, argued like crazy about some dumb thing the guy did. I didn't get to rest at all. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, I was fired for falling asleep at work. I’m still not sure how I fell asleep, seeing as I’m a stocker and I was actively putting cans on the shelf when it happened. FML
Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
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Top comments
jamieblue6 16
It's not gay, it's masturbation XD
Tripartita 45
Well, don't keep us in suspense! What was the verdict?! It's not like I care for any part—yes, hold on Tripartita 2.0, I'll be back in a second!—icular reason or anything… I'm just curious.
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Comments (51)
toogudferu 9
Try doing the same thing to him, without the drugs of course! Hopefully he will learn it's bad.
Jackimo98 24
She should do the same thing but with even more drugs. No sense trying to get back at someone without upping the ante.
Jackimo98 24
Let's be real here... Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?
ZoroMiHawk 25
Definitely. It's like screwing your twin brother
fakedsincerity 32
not if you say "no ****" first.
friedpwnadge 25
If I **********, I'm technically receiving a handjob from a guy. I guess we're all gay.
WarMachine68 24
It's never gay unless you look them in the eye
Attacksloth 33
Well, is it?
Aethereal 14
Yes.
Tripartita 45
Well, don't keep us in suspense! What was the verdict?! It's not like I care for any part—yes, hold on Tripartita 2.0, I'll be back in a second!—icular reason or anything… I'm just curious.
jamieblue6 16
It's not gay, it's masturbation XD
captain_hero89 22
That's a load off my mind
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Taking the phrase "go **** yourself" to a whole new level.
MidnaLink 35
Here's a clue to that question; if a guy says they don't need a girlfriend if they can already suck themself off, than what's the difference for a clone?
Mightytall 35
What was the conclusion? I think in context of having the same DNA you could argue it's like masturbating. However once the clone is sentient there is immediate development independent of yourself and thus a different personality and with that a different person. So in a way it would amount to homosexuality. More interesting is the question if you would even feel attracted to yourself. What do you see in the mirror? Does it turn you on?
Aethereal 14
As soon as we are dealing with separate individuals, it's separate individuals - so the answer is unambiguously yes. I'd likewise focus on how many people would ever have sex with a person identical to them even when they *are* gay...
PackardBell_fml 19
kanye would **** himself sideways lmao
tj4234 36
Some people find that watching them selves jerk it in front of a mirror is a turn on. So I imagine being attracted to a clone of yourself isn't far from that.
ZombieSazza 34
Well, narcissistic and extremely vain folk could possibly be turned on by themselves, so it wouldn't be that difficult to foresee someone being sexually attracted to their clone(s).
Mathalamus 25
at this point, i would kick out the roommates and get new ones, who wont break the law. (note: if its actually legal, then id still kick them out for being so inconsiderate.)
MReyes320 12
Not entirely sure why you're getting down voted... I mean, if the roommates bother OP that badly that they're losing sleep and there's a potential of losing a job you would think a viable option would be removing the disruption.
Mathalamus 25
i think i'm being down-voted because i would kick out people for being very badly inconsiderate, or doing illegal things, regardless of anything. after all, if my mom caught me doing weed, she would kick me out, even if its the middle of winter.
tarlax 11
Why do you always flatter yourself? You're getting downvoted because, uh, the roommates and OP would most likely have signed a joint lease and it's not as simple as OP just kicking them out.
ham_spam 17
Pretty much is kick them out move simple
MrConfusion 21
I wish I had a clone..
Internetflakes 13
Would you like me to direct you in Jesus's direction?
28actress 22
What if it was an evil clone who tried to kill you so they could be the only copy??
drayloon 50
Tell them to go **** themselves.....wait