Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, my dog has very watery diarrhea. I laid down paper towels to soak it up, and went to get sanitary wipes for the rest of it. When I came back, my dog had dragged the paper towels up onto the sand coloured loveseat. Sand coloured no longer. FML
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
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Top comments
sherbear86 21
Instead of digging through the loop to try and find a worm, periodically bring a sample to your vet. There are many parasites where adults are either too small or rarely seen. Plus saved you digging through shit
buckdharma 38
Your dog is getting a bum rap thanks to your husband's origami worms.
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Comments (5)
buckdharma 38
Your dog is getting a bum rap thanks to your husband's origami worms.
sherbear86 21
Instead of digging through the loop to try and find a worm, periodically bring a sample to your vet. There are many parasites where adults are either too small or rarely seen. Plus saved you digging through shit
RichardPencil 32
Aw, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to dig through your husband’s poop.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Hit your husband on the nose with the paper towel roll until he knocks it off.
GhostFox 34
You can train your dog to not eat paper towels. The husband is the more difficult issue, especially since he has apparently made it clear he doesn't give a **** about your requests- great basis for a marriage right there- which makes getting him to stop more difficult. Only thing I can think of is to put all the paper towels you have in something that locks with a key, keeping the key on you at all times, and only opening the container when paper towels are necessary and dispensing only the amount needed. As soon as it's done what was needed, it goes in the trash. If that doesn't work, stop buying them all together.