Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
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Comments (121)
oj101 33
Well that didn't Work Out. You could always end your membership. There is probably a termination fee, but usually it's a little less than a Hole year's fees.
UncleMuscles 5
That was just terrible.
poccocurantes 7
You must be ripped? Cue fart jokes.
klovemachine 24
I'm too gassed to make a fart joke :D
cat1230 4
I don't understand why the boyfriend would be upset with you for farting? You didn't try to pick up his girlfriend. You just had an accident.
poccocurantes 7
He was actually trying to impress her. She just wasn't blown away by his squats.
sillyyanks 24
Ignore them. Their name is cat, yet their picture is a dog.
Onmyzephyr 5
Or blown away by his fart.
DaDivineDevil 11
Or by his farts.
goose12321 11
#39 Maybe it's short for Catherine and not necessarily related to the animal.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Go back. If he actually ends up trying to beat you up, he can be arrested.
MidnaLink 35
damn straight!
james9120 7
A dead man for a fart slipping out when doing a squat? A bit extreme lol
MidnaLink 35
That thought is exactly why I wonder why OP deserves this. I mean, sometimes trying to impress a girl actually does work, but if there is the chance it could backfire, is that really anyone's fault?
False_Stupidity 42
And in this case the OP backfired.. ;-)
MidnaLink 35
But he didn't know about the boyfriend, otherwise he probably wouldn't have tried to impress her
matt98_fml 13
Just go the gym. Besides its in a public area, people will stop him.
SoylentCandycorn 10
Hopefully. There is the bystander effect.
nycwrestler 17
Or the "this guy is ******* huge" effect
matt98_fml 13
Haha right?!
Zebediabolical 45
Yeah, most people won't do a damned thing other than capture the video on their cellphones for later youtubing. Someone will probably call the cops or an ambulance after you've been beaten though. On the other hand, just go work out, dude. If he confronts you, complain to staff and/or file a restraining order. Keep him banned from the gym while you're there.
ohhellllllllno 3
Never try impressing a girl on the squat rack. It's a rookie move.
chrisp87 11
YDI for trying to pick up on another mans girlfriend.
matt98_fml 13
There aren't enough details for you to know if op knew that the girl had a boyfriend. So that comment doesn't make a whole lot of sense. :/
Rukkus92 16
You're a dead man for farting in front of his girlfriend? Oh come on, it's not like he's never farted in front of her before! Don't listen to him, he's just being a macho douche.
SoylentCandycorn 10
If it makes OP feel better, a gym meathead like that is probably on steroids, and you know what they say happens to men who abuse steroids. So his GF probably has something else to laugh about with her girlfriends...
biglittlehead 12
She wouldn't be impressed anyway. You obviously aren't a real man if your too afraid to go to the gym.