Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
Maybe you broke two records then!
TheGolfGTI 24
See OP, this is what happens when you try to toot your own horn.
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Comments (81)
EpicKassi 23
Well, at least you tried.
Rainbow2Cloud 12
OP didn't just try, they succeded in breaking the record! As well as breaking huge wind.
Uglyfeet 23
Am I the only one curious about how much did it weight? Not the fart, OP, the squat :D
YuckyDuckyLucky 17
The previous record was 240kg, I did 260kg.
Uglyfeet 23
Well worthy of a fart hehe Congratulations OP
pedopears 18
there is an Afghan saying, when something/someone is making you do your very best or its very hard, people say afterwards "it pushed the fart out of you" xD
banshee88 18
I HATE when I fart in front of my trainer. Hey! At least it wasn't a shart! Win!
RickySleeves 20
Maybe you broke two records then!
Classy_Sassy15 18
Great way to think of it.
Shadowvoid 33
Better than a hernia or hemorrhoid... Someone I know got both
powerkeep 24
Hey that is really impressive. I am sure they are a lot more impressed with a record, than a fart. If anything they would laugh that last part off.
YuckyDuckyLucky 17
Haha, that's the embarrassing part, they did.
mustangbravo 27
Bummer! Oh well, be proud of your accomplishments!
StickyPickles 33
Better than blowing out your asshole
lurker_no_more 13
I'm not sure why you're being thumbed down since that can actually happen.. such things can't be unseen ;_;
slingerslasher 24
Is that why you are a lurker no more?
riahlum 12
Leg day
meatloaf11 23
At least it was only a fart
shady_fox77 13
Breaking a record as well as breaking wind
vonvaski 18
Dammit, you stole what I was going to say!