Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
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Comments (121)
cockymofo 10
I'm pretty sure that would make me go back even more just out of spite. i would work out right next to that asshole everytime I saw him
igive 29
Well, now aren't you just a cocky mofo.
cockymofo 10
I see what ya did there #69. lol. touche (I think that's how you spell it)
gman90210 18
To hell with him if he tries to fight fight should only be one of two ways it can end up. You either win or lose. Or I guess depends on how well he knows the owners then you might also go to jail and not be allowed back with no refund. Either way life's to damn short for idiots to make you not want to go to the gym
kemando 22
... You're dead for farting doing squats? Seems idiots will start fights over anything these days. Since there's no way he could know you were trying to impress "his girl".
ibmike22 13
You sound pretty pansy-ish......if a guy said that to me I'd tell him to shut his mouth and throw a plate at his face, and then sit on the girl's face.
Onmyzephyr 5
Really? Tell us more.
Enslaved 38
Sounds like you're using that as an excuse to stop working out. Go to the gym. If that guy harasses you, get him kicked out. If that gym doesn't do anything, then demand your money back and go to another gym.
Ukeee_X 19
Be logical... If he beats the crap out of you, he'll be made to leave the gym. Go to the gym, you big wussy.
TheEmoSuperman 16
evidently, you don't lift enough, bro
CelebrityChef 3
Dude, I know what's it like, but trying to impress a girl at a gym never is a good idea, because her boyfriend may think you are flirting with her, then again I flirted with a girl right next to her boyfriend
J08J 20
YDI for trying to impress a girl.. You know what happens in FML posts when there's 'Trying to impress'
saltycookies 5
Quit being such a pussy and hit him with a dumbell if he tries anything
sasha_kay 4
You're now the proud owner of a ******. Don't be a baby and go to the gym.
txguitarslinger 7
That's exactly what I was thinking.
ibmike22 13
Lol, I said the exact same thing and got thumbs down. Having one of those isn't such a bad thing.