Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
I’m really sorry this happened to you. That happened to me once with hookah (without the drug test part thankfully) where I thought it was regular hookah but it was loaded with weed. When I explained to someone that I couldn’t make it for our plans that evening because I was accidentally high as ****, they were like, “Well why didn’t you ask what was in the hookah?! Why didn’t you ask if it was weed?” Like dude, I had no reason to think weed was even an option! I’d only heard of tobacco hookahs, and you’d think the person who brought it to the party would mention it. I was pretty pissed at my “friend” at the time for blaming me for that mistake. Obviously, though, your situation is way worse, and again, I’m so sorry. If it’s not too late and it’s not beneath you, look up online how to pass a drug test. There’s tons of methods that range from activated charcoal to tons and tons of water. I know someone who has smoked daily, chronically, her whole life and has never, ever failed a test (using the water method). Good luck, and I hope you get to keep your job!
Grizz8831 14
most places can run varying teats to show different time lines of consumption and use. explain what happened before the test, and offer to take multiple tests showing you are not a user. this SHOULD lead to a probationary hire and most likely ongoing testing for a bit, but should protect your job.
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Comments (9)
Marcella1016 32
I’m really sorry this happened to you. That happened to me once with hookah (without the drug test part thankfully) where I thought it was regular hookah but it was loaded with weed. When I explained to someone that I couldn’t make it for our plans that evening because I was accidentally high as ****, they were like, “Well why didn’t you ask what was in the hookah?! Why didn’t you ask if it was weed?” Like dude, I had no reason to think weed was even an option! I’d only heard of tobacco hookahs, and you’d think the person who brought it to the party would mention it. I was pretty pissed at my “friend” at the time for blaming me for that mistake. Obviously, though, your situation is way worse, and again, I’m so sorry. If it’s not too late and it’s not beneath you, look up online how to pass a drug test. There’s tons of methods that range from activated charcoal to tons and tons of water. I know someone who has smoked daily, chronically, her whole life and has never, ever failed a test (using the water method). Good luck, and I hope you get to keep your job!
Shzusuziq11 12
go to a health food store. There used to be a tea sold there that would wash away pot out of your system
RichardPencil 32
Maybe it's time for something new in your life, like getting stoned with your brother and playing video games in the basement. Family time is important!
Marcella1016 32
PS5 and the Family, Stoned
benjamn 24
Wasn't that a 70's group?
Slim87R 7
Or a show?
sirrubberduckie 37
That was great!
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
Yay! Congrats!
Grizz8831 14
most places can run varying teats to show different time lines of consumption and use. explain what happened before the test, and offer to take multiple tests showing you are not a user. this SHOULD lead to a probationary hire and most likely ongoing testing for a bit, but should protect your job.
Brightside86 31
They may have been okay, Urine tests can detect marijuana in the urine for approximately 3–30 days after use. So if it was really just 1 time a couple of days before it shouldn't show up.
wysegirl 24
I know in some of government jobs if you come forward they can do a hair sample to verify if you are telling the truth. good luck
GameofLife29 1
Marijuana is actually a herb...
GameofLife29 1
By the way if your state is legal, I don't think they can hold weed against you.