Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
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Comments (121)
Thorzix 23
I'm not even gonna bother reading the rest, I'm clicking YDI after I finished reading "I tried to impress a girl".
SoylentCandycorn 10
Courtship is a YDI now? FMLers get pissy about the oddest things. If we all acted like we were too good for the opposite sex, our species would have gone extinct long ago.
jimbob_76592 5
Don't take that shit. Go to the gym and don't worry about that asshole. If he gives you shit just report him and then the gym is all yours.
TheDeafWalrus 8
You should go back, walk in the front door, find him, walk to him, look him dead in the eye, and let out a big fart.
chris_a7x 11
Just go back pussy!
perdix 31
Squatting is not an impressive exercise. If you are lifting challenging weight, your face makes horrible contortions and you look like your ********. Pretty much everything looks silly except bicep curls.
Pleonasm 36
And tricep extensions.
Dracoboxer357 36
64- pssh, nothing looks more impressive than a bench press. It's the staple of manliness everywhere. :D
perdix 31
#70, nah, too much grimacing. Getting that bicep vein to pop is the shit.
natalalaliee 9
You can go! They won't always be there when you're there. You have just as much of a right to go there as they do, or anyone else. You can't help your bodily functions.
UsagiArwen 23
I'm going to go with what #57 said. I also voted YDI because really, a gym is not quite the place you want to try and impress anyone. Odds are you wind up being scrutinized as you try to work out and it generally does not tend to end well. Go to the gym and work out. Like 57 said, bring an mp3 player to listen to, and just focus on the working out part. A boyfriend can't make you unable to attend a public gym when you've paid your dues to be there. I think it's your pride that has been the most wounded, and that's on you because you should stop *trying* to impress a girl. There are other, better ways, to get a lady's attention. So stop being a wimp, go back to the gym, ignore others there, and just work out. It's really not that complicated.
Mysterion345 11
yo man just go back work out and if that wannabe tries anything just look at him dead in the eye and say yea you a big man you compensating for something? Bullies ain't nothing but people whose brains never fully developed. So man the **** up and go work out and who knows maybe a chick will take interest in you. Never know now.
inkracer 6
Go to the gym anyway. On the off chance that the boyfriend is the owner, demand your money back for the months not used, or threaten legal action. Otherwise just tell him to screw off.
CrissyyyS2 22
... Just go to the gym. Why? Well if you workout some more, it might be him who will be a dead man.