Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
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Comments (121)
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
RBntM 10
You should go to the gym OP, it's not like her boyfriend owns the gym
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Grow a pair, and go back!!
Anubis_81 21
Dude, seriously, you really think he's gonna kill you. It's not like you knew she had a boyfriend and was trying to steal her away. You were doing what occurs naturally for every man on this planet. Farting though, didn't do you any favours.
gabrayal 10
Today, I tried to impress this girl ... Enough said. YDI, op. Have you not learned from the FML community that when you try to impress a girl it ALWAYS ends up going wrong!?
klovemachine 24
Well, 108, how is he supposed to impress a girl? With his mind? You're probably one of those sadists who wants the OP to be single his entire life :P
loloalltheway 23
Go there when he isn't there. Don't be afraid you have as much right as him to be there.
fat_snooki_lol 6
If he should be afraid, why would you tell him to go when the other guy isn't there? He should man tf up and just turn up. Whatever will happen will happen. No point pussying out.
fat_snooki_lol 6
*Shouldn't*
capslockisgood 19
If op has as much right as the other guy, why can't op go whenever he chooses?
loloalltheway 23
#18 i agree he really should man up but he should start by working out when the other guy isn't there then, when his confidence is up, he should have a talk with that guy.
sens3sfailing 25
Talking, in fact, does not require working out at a gym, because talking requires different muscles and also, preferably, should incorporate the proper use of his brain.
amara92_fml 10
You shouldnt run away, he cant tell you what you can & cant do.. just go to the gym & make use of that membership :)
The1CalledGOAT 11
yeah, make use of that membership, pump that iron until he becomes scared of you then take his girl >:) dont kidnap her though, that is not the taking I mean
greatdanen 6
he can't tell OP what to do, but it sounds like his fists make a hell of an argument
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
KK3137 31
Although I agree, I believe the reason he was called a dead man is because OP tried to impress gym guy's girl friend..
Warden1986 16
He only tired to impress, sounds like the boyfriend is extremely protective. OP don't worry, go to the gym and work out. By the way do not try to impress a girl at the gym. Majority of women who go to gyms are more focused in their work out. Not in focused on men at that point of the day.
chosenen 6
Stop being such a child. Do you think that he would ravage you because you farted in front of his girlfriend? Silly
SoylentCandycorn 10
I thought not farting in public meant that men were more likely to want to ravage you all night long. I've been doing it wrong all these years.
juwood 7
Could be roid rage. You know how that is.
Pleonasm 36
Now people can't take a fart in public without getting death sentences? That blows.
malfanese 6
Yeah, that really stinks for him!
Sam38_H 4
At least you didn't shit when doing squats it would have been a crappier situation
Bright_Lights 14
Thankfully it wasn't, otherwise we'd have to endure more of your unfunny comments.
1dvs_bstd 41
You could still be the resident comedian in the gym, lifting 10kg weights pretending like you're lifting the world... don't forget to rip it. She might actually like you after a while.
allard 14
Well, least you went out in style.
denden_mushi 11
You should still go to the gym and if the guy bothers you just let out another 'accidental' fart on his face.
hama806 19
...and make it a smelly one.