Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
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Comments (121)
ramseytt69 8
Um you better not be scared of him... Its not like you guys did anything and he does not run anything.... Js...
BlackPhenom 9
Man don't let that intimidating putz stand you down. You go to that gym and use his face as motivation. If the cute chick goes there too, use her as motivation as well. Let these suckers know they have to go through you to not let you wanna do your thing
skyeyez9 25
Oh no! You made his girlfriend happy and made her laugh by causing a funny scene (but embarrassing to you). How dare you!
bugmenotmofo 34
Unless he's gym's owner, you can still go there. And since he's overprotective jerk, you're now obliged to steal his girlfriend.
sergio199407 3
Kick that guy in the balls and continue working out
poopshreds 10
Next time go to the gym and workout for yourself, not to try to impress anybody else. And only let out silent ones
AshCheeks 6
How bout you grow a pair & don't be a pussy! If you don't go to the gym that you pay to go to, you only have yourself to blame!
Almighty_Chris97 6
Haha what's he gonna do? Beat you up in a public gym? I think not.
onorexveritas 24
don't be ridiculous. you can still go
BobbieH 19
Man up and go to gym whenever you want. You have a membership, you have a right to be there. Now trying to impress a girl at the gym by doing squats is a real rookie move. The fart just makes it worse, but funnier for us! If you are interested in a girl, gym or otherwise, walk up and introduce yourself, and not with pick up lines. Just talk to the girl.