Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
krizay 10
You can still go to that gym. You are not going by choice.
Arthurie 30
Now hold on a minute, you can't necessarily "never" go to this gym. Perhaps just go when the girl or her boyfriend isn't there? You could always tell management of some sort - if a guy is going to call you a dead man for accidentally farting, something isn't right in his head.
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Comments (121)
willard3663 20
Your a pipe fitter and that big of a pussy?
TinyGiant 4
Seriously? Grow a pair. This guy is as insecure as you are. If he hassles you, get him kicked out. If the gym refuses, you get a refund and workout somewhere else.
redmonkey224539 9
Don't. Be such a pussy
The_F3rris 11
Back to high school. Time to man up and show that girls bf who dominates the gym!
gemmadaws 3
Lame and tiring
smokestrong 1
Just go
ElTigre995 4
Dont be a pussy. and that guy sounds like a dick. how could you have known she had a bf?
thassel8 7
It doesn't matter if she had a boyfriend or not, the guy was a dick, and op is a wuss, why would she want to be with you op if you wont even stand up for yourself.
teresee 8
This sounds fake
Fman92 9
haha shouldn't have put so much weight on the squat rack dude
Krimzon 5
What did you expect stealing his "thunder" like that?