Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
Today, the guy I gave up all my social life and casual sex partner for, suddenly decided that he wants nothing to do with me sexually, and then called me "desperate" for wanting to be his friend despite that fact. Now, because of him, I'm no longer getting laid, and I have no friends. FML
Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML
Today, after a guy I really liked and we decided to have sex, and he gagged and told me I stank when he got 'down there', I broke up with him, badly, but it's now a week later and I’m in hospital with a severe infection down there. He was right, and now he won’t take me back. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my ex-fiance didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident, which I dumped him for, was because the hospital wouldn't let him in because he wasn't family. He's blocked my number, returned the ring and everything. FML
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Top comments
bunnyfish 27
I pictured the hamburglers evil twin shitburgler when I read that.
bigbrown24 17
what a douche bag. you don't need him
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Comments (43)
bunnyfish 27
I pictured the hamburglers evil twin shitburgler when I read that.
rtigers15 8
sameeeeee
bigbrown24 17
what a douche bag. you don't need him
Mylehz 13
I completely agree #2, OP deserves so much better than this guy and his douchebaggery. Hell, everyone deserves so much better than that!
sabby7 17
kick him to the curb. what a pig.
MDoremis 38
He's already on the curb by his own devices.
weatherxveins 29
Sounds like he's trying to crawl off it though, OP needs to make sure he stays there.
chevygirl23 17
Don't take that douche dick back, you deserve better than that.
aruden 25
Sounds like you are way better off OP no need to have junk like that in your life.
Boometh 15
Seriously, how tf are there people who say you deserved it? You deserve to be treated better. e_e
Oyas12 14
its probably an accident or people just running by clicking "YDI"
aeryn97 17
really this isn't a fml. you're better off without him. so you're in a better place now. chin up. you deserve better.
hehe1996 15
It sounds like you're much better off without him OP.
sumi90 12
He needs you for sex OP, not a relationship. He's a jerk for even thinking about it.
Vitani_Verci 24
Leave him in the gutter where he belongs OP! The fact that he's ruthless enough to try to get back with someone whom he left because they physically could not have sex shows how unbelievably stupid he is. Hopefully he'll cross paths with karma. You're way better off without him!