Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I was feeling lonely, so I turned on my Roomba for some "company." Five minutes in, it got stuck under the couch and started crying for help. Now I’m comforting an appliance because I feel bad for mistreating it. I need therapy. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
That seems like one heated discussion.
FitForFun 11
Man your emotional control is toast.
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Comments (118)
epiphone123 12
I know how you feel, aha.
Schiffy 18
I see no problem here. A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply. Have you ever tried to indulge and all-consuming urge to kill when you don't have opposable thumbs? Or hands? Or anything other than a bread slot? You'd have a lot of pent-up anger too!
jayray313 21
Just a step away from wandering down the street muttering to yourself and trying to bite your own face...
SuperDanielNL 23
Could your loneliness be caused by your aggression problems. Then resolving the aggression issues will perhaps help you make social contacts.
Jst4kicks 16
did you go to the fridge to cool down?
tranced_ 45
been there done that.
isallwaysme 27
All this food talk is making me hungry.
rememberkids 14
maybe ur alone cause of ur anger problems? At least u realize it now. Get to the root of ur anger issues and come up with some solutions so that u don't have outbursts! :)
ksks1234 33
People using ur and u give me anger problems. Is it really that hard to type your and you?
liltwistism 12
#69 ur just being a hardass.
Zebediabolical 45
Just remember to unplug it prior to the make-up sex.
pantherpride98 10
How do u send someone a message on ere?
TheDrifter 24
I sent you a pm about it. So you can message while you learn to message.