Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I was feeling lonely, so I turned on my Roomba for some "company." Five minutes in, it got stuck under the couch and started crying for help. Now I’m comforting an appliance because I feel bad for mistreating it. I need therapy. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
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Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
That seems like one heated discussion.
FitForFun 11
Man your emotional control is toast.
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Comments (118)
kaitlynjane 28
Hey, toasters have feelings, too! Didn't you ever see the "Brave Little Toaster?"
Kelsey_709 9
I know the feels. Doesn't mean you're crazy. You're probably just frustrated. Or maybe we're just both insane for yelling at inanimate objects. Either way, it's all good.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Time to see a psychologist.
jmacfan1 16
Hey it's ok. I yell at my computer sometimes
greggly123 6
You need some serious meds
liltwistism 12
Don't worry. I get mad at inanimate object too sometimes.
buckdharma 38
Why do you take it out on the poor toaster when the refrigerator is the one being cold to you.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Toasters are 12 bucks, buy you a new friend and your current toaster some competition. Seriously , I work with a guy that carries on conversations with everything that has a reflective surface. He doesn't hide it very well either.
TheModernPatriot 14
I'll be your friend OP :)
Joseph980000 6
Creeper..
J08J 20
Battle for Dream Island has gotten real intense, yes?