Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML
Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML
Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML
Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML
Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
Did he get you one?
Hunthas 17
Cheeseburgers are worth it
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
Hunthas 17
Cheeseburgers are worth it
CoGhostRider 31
Especially considering the wait at the ER
JE553 9
Is ur last name griffin by chance?
webbface 25
The ones from Carl's Junior are worth it. :) yummy
generalasskicker 12
Lol I say he got lucky I dislocated my shoulder in a football game my dad told me to let him look at it then pop it was back
ImInYourFACEbook 8
@boredSOLDIER I agree, if they got cheese burgers from Mc'Donalds then both of them would have to go to the ER
Debragga99 6
It's just like that episode of Family Guy
MrPortalFan 21
Did he get you one?
PterodactylMan 23
Hopefully two for 2$ at McDonalds
sololeah_fml 9
I hope he got one for everyone! ; )
SonOfAMitch 14
Am I the only person who thought that if OP's dad DID stop to get a cheeseburger for both of them, t could've calmed down OP a bit and make the shoulder hurt a bit less? Saying that, the dad prooobably should've gone to the ER first..
Jseldi 10
Well, it beats hospital food :)
LittleGreenPaola 23
I'm sure you were in pain, but you weren't risking your life!
monnanon 14
not true. thr shock of an injury like that can kill.
PossiblyInDanger 24
The likelihood of that would be slim to none. And clearly the kid wasn't in or going into shock.
barlos88 19
Even if his life wasn't in danger, his dad is still a dick
TheDrifter 24
Maybe he just needed OP to be silent a moment so his advice to be still would be heard? Writhing and thrashing around is about the worst thing (other than heavy lifting) you can do to an unset dislocated shoulder. Not only can it aggravate the damage, op's writhing in pain would have made the pain worse. A few minutes motionless with the arm supported and the pain would significantly subside.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Yeah, but still, is a cheeseburger more important than someone who needs to go to the hospital?
Lacist 19
Also my friend has dislocated her shoulder badly before, if she didn't go to the hospital in time it would have taken a few more months to heal. So it's not just about whether you die or not.
LittleGreenPaola 23
Yeah, #79, but how much does it take to buy a cheeseburger?
SSTRNK 6
#81, usually a little over a dollar.
LittleGreenPaola 23
sorry I just wanted to say "how long" :) my bad
wantmeasandwich 26
And then...you were even more thrilled? Right?
Treveyon56 14
I don't know what to say. You weren't going to die so it wasn't to bad he stopped. On the other hand he pick food over you.
Ctrl_H 18
Nothing comes between a man and his food. Nothing.
ottokat 15
29, are you Dean Winchester?
Wizzlbang 10
OP's dad is a cartoon character.
rocker_chick105 31
I thought of Peter in Family Guy when I read this. Although a pregnant person and someone who dislocated their shoulder are two different things...
Haduken 16
Peter: Yeah, I'll have 3 cheeseburgers Lois: Peter for god's sake she's having a baby Peter: Oh that's right. And a kids meal
brammerderambam 8
Maybe he thought you were screaming of hunger, not pain?
MissMustard 20
Bad luck OP! I'm sure this wouldn't have happened if your condition had been life threatening... Right?