Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
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Top comments
JustinThunder 8
Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.
Anupants 0
That is a no bueno.
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Comments (260)
sheethapins 13
Did she have braces? Do you have braces?
perdix 31
You are fortunate. I didn't believe there was such a thing as a bad BJ until I suffered through one. It's not so much that she bit it, as much as she scraped my **** with her teeth. I almost wanted to cry. Not from the pain, really, but I've always thought that a girl who will take my **** in her mouth has a special place in Heaven. It's just heart-rending to tell such a girl that she has to stop. At least you can give her the consolation prize of a hot **** so you don't have to confront the issue of the substandard ********.
DrewsFML 8
LMAO now that's boners' kind of woman! I'll try to find the # for ya!
mgsoloist 14
It sounds bitchy and unnecessary, but I would probably bite him. Not enough to cause injury. Just enough to hurt a little. Men, don't talk about your ex if your girlfriend is sucking your dick.
Ryan88USMC 0
Ouch
paki786 0
Really cute pic..
Holy_ish 19
what a bitch just take the bj
stro88 6
Hm that sucks. Lol.
lokrar789 7
Hahaha. Spice things up
raphanne_fml 33
Yeah, try a Tasmanian habanero...
ohSNAPyall 27
Haha you have the sex style of a virgin
berrynastyshow 0
That's a sighn
i_did_that 0
Logical solution- give different bjs from now on