Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
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Top comments
JustinThunder 8
Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.
Anupants 0
That is a no bueno.
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Comments (260)
megaaann_fml 9
All women care about is sex, while men just want to talk about emotions.
slipperyeyebrow 0
it's okay. you know sometimes, I make my boyfriend cry during sex because it reminds him of his incest affair with his mother. the questioning of wether it turns me on or not is the reason we are still together.
cj7jeep 1
That's just disgusting
HappyPickles 11
actually, it's not "incest affair", it's "incestuous affair". ... So, do you call your BF Rex?
bratprince 0
That's actually quite disturbingly funny.
wriptidez 0
thats why he shouldnt date until hes over her
darthkane 0
you can suck mine anytime btw. now seriously: the guy's a loser, just ******* dump him. no real man cries in front of her gf
twirlingqueen4u 0
That sucks :( sorry op. Your bf is bad in bed.
Calyx_fml 22
At least he didn't say it was just like his sister used to do it. :P
tj4234 36
is this long lost love dead or did she dump him? either way u should probably comfort him :L... with anal :D.
every1luvsvag 10
I already said that, you twat.
muffins650 1
Fail on your boyfriends part...
Deathhound 27
I wouldn't do that again until hes over her. lol
alyssarenees00 0
... that sucks ... n.n