Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
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Top comments
JustinThunder 8
Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.
Anupants 0
That is a no bueno.
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Comments (260)
every1luvsvag 10
Help him feel better about it. Anal is always a picker-upper.
JustinThunder 8
How could anyone have the heart to thumb you down.
Mirorbo 27
Wow... Someone's got some serious letting go issues...
jobsman99 0
suck his balls and see if that gets him back up then while doing that give him a handjob when he chums lick up all his sperm maybe that will turn him on
phelpsbaby 0
Ewww. Ur gross. Little less detailed please!
i_did_that 0
Haha
musicanonymus 0
your like 6, does you mother know you talk like this ?
amuck 0
switch it up for him, do it different.. use your tongue and hands also, maybe add some ice :)
sexxme 9
ice doesn't seem like a bright idea my dear.
kissingdeath 0
It actually adds some fun to it, seems like uve never tried it
Baileyyykayy 1
Where on earth are you guys getting the word childhood from?! It says plain as day, TEEN. I'm impressed with your stupidity.
Sirin_fml 47
We edited it because people apparently don't understand the term too well.
hotPinklipstick 24
when the FML was first posted it clearly stated childhood sweetheart. It was changed by the site because of the comments.
kaykay20 0
When your 40 or so referring 1--19 years old (assuming thats when you moved out of your parents house) as it being childhood makes sense since you were still young and not out on your own yet. Then again I refer everyone who is younger then me as a kid so may not make sense to everyone.
Alyta 0
What an asshole!!! Lol FYL for having such an idiot as bf!
DrewsFML 8
It's rare, yes, but possible to screw up a BJ. I once dated a dental hygienist that made me wear a studded condom so she could brush her teeth at the same time. That i could deal with, but it was over when she asked me to grow my pubes out so she could floss afterwards.
amberc1991 7
Well do something to make it ten times better :)
gigglingalways 6
Well I guess you both sucked - pun definitely intended.