Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML
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Top comments
ifuckingrock 0
Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.
WhyComplain 0
This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!
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Comments (97)
wellinever 5
Hot and wet! How is that an FML?
maverick21703 0
I think the FML is the fact that he counts telling his girlfriend she is hot as flirting.
_anonymoose_ 0
#31 is right. OP, YDI for caring.
Jordna 0
Yeah, how is this an fml??
WhyComplain 0
This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!
ifuckingrock 0
Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.
cocainewhore 30
I feel bad for the girlfriend. However busy he is, if he really loves her, he'd make time for her.
EmperorChowilio 21
shut up you know nothing you cocaine *****..... sorry I know it was mean but, I couldn't resist
cocainewhore 30
I know nothing? Excuse me. But I'm that was uncalled for. If they want a relationship to work then they have to make time for each other.
brenton490 19
I believe his girlfriend is defective they aren't suppose to have those.
MrZed_fml 11
Your name #98
jimmyjimjobobo 0
hardly an fml, if it's through IM it's not like it won't be there once she gets back...
v1kt4r 13
WTF???? how did this even get on here, were the moderators out of options.
UpYourself 0
To be fair, I modded a bunch of FMLs today (not this one) and they were honestly pathetic
Intoxicunt 6
He's right. The recent ones have been just ridiculously terrible. This would be in the top 1% of all of them. Sad but true.
LadyAlathia 0
Once again clicking YDI in lieu of "Who the **** cares?".
fretforyerlatte 0
this.
Lakus 0
How is this a FML? Everyone needs to urinate once in a while.
HaveNoShame 3
A woman who pees?! You poor man.
24788 7
Are you that whipped that you can't tell your girlfriend that you don't enjoy when she does that? Does she rule with an iron fist?
BeeSkwaird 0
If she never came back, that would be one thing, but... seriously, OP, WTFC? Girls rarely respond to "hot" anyway. Try gorgeous or beautiful or maybe even pulchritudinous! (Haha :)