Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
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Top comments
kumonsucks 7
Sir you have a neck. Looking down isn't illegal
Nighthunter 11
Good first impression! Especially on the dog!
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Comments (182)
conn78 1
FIELD GOALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
DrFuzzyPickles 9
Is it wrong that I am laughing hysterically at this?
thebrookster 2
A Doberman is a big dog. A chihuahua is tiny. The force of his kick would not even barely hurt the Doberman, but by accident, the chihuahua was kicked. Calm down people.
peggi 2
Wow, if she doesnt break up with you for that she is an idiot, and if you are that mean to animals I hope animal control rescues your Doberman from you before the abuse turns it violent or it becomes injured. If someone did that to any of my animals it would take several burley looking cops to rescue the person
littlelotte98 3
jerk
hueybuntfosho 4
Claim it was a russian spy set to restart the KGB. You were just protecting them
at0micmin3r 23
WHY would you do that?! You're such an incredible IDIOT! It better not be dead.
baconstrip103 11
Poor dog
Dominator_117 1
screw these other people i have a larger dog too its a natural mistake and for that the dog shouldnt have been tugging on your leg
LoneBooker88 16
poor chihuahua!!!! i pitty that pup. but i owe chihuahuas myslef and i unstand what ur going through