Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
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Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
"Perform intercourse on me in a mildly rough manner..."
jdm_powered 6
Like a sir.
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Comments (107)
lilpanda4 5
******* has no emotional value, and say making love tells him that you love him enough to be something more than just some girl he ****** so yea I can see why he was mad.
tehdarkness 21
OMG... Time for a new bf. It's just natural for that to slip out from time to time. He's lucky that he has someone that wants him so passionately!
demonkitty619 8
I find it to be a major turn off when my significant other uses dirty talk. I can see where he is coming from.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Surprised how many people actually side with OP's boyfriend here. It's kinda weird to me, but I do know some guys are turned off by my constant swearing. Sometimes they find it really odd because I have the quietest, sweetest voice in the whole universe... and then I drop an f-bomb. But I really don't have a problem because my boyfriend's fine with my language. I just hope OP and her boyfriend can work something out because that (to me, anyway) seems like one of the worst mood-killers ever D:
LaLince 40
dump him now
binkztaah 2
Wat a loser
Ominn 6
Surprised how many people can't take a bloody joke. There's been thousands of posts where someone is obviously just kidding around, and the OP takes it way too seriously. To top it off, the comments section is filled with significantly humorless people. Get the sticks out your butts, the egg nog in your guts, and ask for a sense of humor for Christmas! Merry Christmas, by the way.
LaLince 40
get a life
luccmon 6
It's time to end the session
needsagf14 12
What a gentleman