Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
"Perform intercourse on me in a mildly rough manner..."
jdm_powered 6
Like a sir.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
miss_sqwert 19
Ydi for dating a jerk
Authoress14 15
He was totally making u suffer on purpose lol!!
Maria_Obligacia 14
Feedback. Learn to take it. What's the big deal, why is it a FML? You did something that you thought he'd like but he didn't so back off and do something else! Unless it is important for you to be able to say words like that in bed, in which case you'd always feel constrained with this guy and need another one, I do not see why you should make a scene out of it or post it on FML for that matter.
yfzttracer 3
Like a BOSS!!!
txguitarslinger 7
I wonder if he tolerates it from his gay lumberjack lover
Eorlas 31
What an awkward thing to have a problem with
olpally 33
In the heat of the moment, he says that??? are you kidding me??? Lol. Wow. That's nice and all, but cum on, he sounds like mr. Rogers.
gracehi 33
"Fornicate me Under Consent of the King."
mikeymayhem_87 15
Thou hast failed to produce a comical remark, 109!
love_me_electric 20
It's weird that he's okay with premarital sex, but thinks its wrong to swear. Most people who are against one are usually against the other too.
marg1985 4
epic! like a sir!