Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, after I made a connection with someone I used to know from school, I came to find out the whole time we were “solely seeing” each other, he was banging the bartender, and some fellow bar patrons at the same time as the bartender. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss's wife. I work for my parents. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
awkward family reunion time.....
Ambient25 25
I hate to say this OP, but get used to it. Bartending is one of those jobs that invites people to sit, drink, and say what's on their mind. It's both a great job with great stories, and a shitty job with shitty drunks. You should get good tips though, so it's not all bad.
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Comments (78)
EvilLittleMan 23
Welcome to People Skills 101. Working in a bar is not just about pouring drinks, it's dealing with the public and that's the important skill you will walk away with.
dewberry2001 25
I don't understand the "we" part. Could someone explain?
Blink182ismylife 4
The OP is female and he was asking why all females are like that.
notsofriendly 17
Bartending: half chemistry; half therapy.
WhiteCrimson 23
Stand back, nod a few times and say yes every now and then. It works 95% of the time. Had my best years behind a bar counter, then I moved up to GM. Was a bad decision to make. People dumping their problems on you is part of the job hun. Nurture the topic. You will soon be reaping the rewards.
JMichael 26
I have a strange feeling I'll be that person..be ready for me OP.
TheObviousOne 0
Let me sum this up: OP gets a customer telling about who is telling her about his life problems, but her last line is literal. It IS her dad. So basically on her first shift, her dad came in, and told her that her own mother was cheating on her dad with her uncle.
Merylwen 24
What is it you don't understand in the word "could"?? "COULD BE my dad"!
underthesea12 24
Why are you women like that?
buckdharma 38
Girls learn from a very young age that they have a hidden power for controlling men. They are liberated now and no longer have to pretend they don't enjoy sex too.
DanielleinDC 34
You're just going to have to build a stock of response lines that say nothing but make the person think you care.
tochiotome 14
What?