Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
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Top comments
geekpowerwtf 0
When is taking a 20 miles bike ride not a bad decision?
ollie179 21
"somebody likes it rough"
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Comments (108)
apet214 10
Hehehe nice. Well at least it wasn't 50...
thanks_asshole 2
how did you "loosen" your virginity
Keyman1212 14
It's really easy, you just kinda stretch it out, to where it's almost gone but not quite to the breaking point... Or think of it like this. Hot dog down a hallway.
wolflover44 5
The FML team fixed it. Yay?
LiveLaughFML 10
wut? I wouldn't take a 20 mile bike ride ever. FYL OP for agreeing.
LiveLaughFML 10
**YDI
hzsambo 3
# 5 you answer that question....hahaha
seanders 10
You must have taken it in the ass.
ILoveEmoes 9
# 64, you must have never experienced a girl who's recently lost her virginity. It hurts like son of a bitch to sit after that.
seanders 10
97: I was just being an ass. I remember my girlfriend afterwards, I was paranoid to do her the next time lol. She said the first few times hurt like hell.
Jaimegirl 7
Wow...I'm sort of afraid to lose mine now...haha
gunmania0 12
115 - you look flexible, I wouldn't worry about it.
jizzwold 21
115 yes be very afraid 117 Ha
Sweetcupcakes123 6
Doesn't hurt really.. Guess it depends on the person.. And the sex! ?
JuggaletteKlown 0
Losing mine didn't hurt at all.(not during or afterwards) that's weird?o:
miranda2195 0
Depends on how big the dude is. Mine hurt like a mofo
gunmania0 12
My penis is extremely large, that's why my girlfriend almost bled to death.
Alyma13 5
@115: Don't be lol. Every body is different. For some people it doesn't hurt at all, for some it's unbearable, for some it hurts a little bit.
some_shit 0
I think it has a lot to do with the size. my gf was "out of service" for 2 weeks
SongzQueen2011 1
Same here..
SongzQueen2011 1
Maybe you didnt have a hymen or it wasnt broken or torn yet
Battle_Man 5
@187 Was it really necessary to use the adjective "extremely"? Sounds like an overcompensation...
gunmania0 12
Well obviously my comment was a joke, everyone was intimidated by the masculinity of my comment.
Jrt55 3
You are really pretty jamiegirl
pickle_1994_1 5
Um nope pretty sure it says losing
bevsta 7
Hymen
jabee8 0
amen*
ChuckNorrisBeard 0
Troll'n ?
cg_surg 1
He/she meant hymen. Look it up
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Please be joking. You're a girl... you should know he meant hymen.
UrLiFsuX 4
Lol o I see what you did there
A7X_LoVeee 10
Was I the only one who burst out laughing after reading 33's response?
prince122 0
maybe she's not a girl.
BShady96 0
would have made more sense without the star at the end
deliciouscake 3
If you didn't get 33's comment, you're not smart enough for FML, which is pretty sad.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Oh please explain it then.
jabee8 0
of course i know lol !!! it was just a link idk hehhe
weezybabyboo 0
umm, no. hymen.
jabee8 0
no you dont understand, my point was not to correct his/her answer, and i didn't mean to put a star at the end to correct hymen to amen. the point was just that the 2 words were alike so i wanted it to look like hymen was the prayer, amen... anyways all that was a huge missunderstanding...
Dodie_zilla 0
Talk about uncomfortable!
AJlol92 4
quien carajo le manda
ollie179 21
"somebody likes it rough"
thesinginguy 18
Actually it hurts after a girl gets some the first time. I only know this because I actually listen to my gitrlfriend.
jeanaj 0
Yeah, it hurts for about a day afterward. Then it gets better after a few times.
rambrose 0
Not all girls are born with a hymen so it doesn't hurt all girls their first time. I would know.
jeanaj 0
Well, apparently OP had a hymen.
jeanaj 0
132- that's true ^^
JuggaletteKlown 0
132; Mine didn't hurt, and I know I had hymen.(My ******-doctor informed me I had one:D) losing my virginity didn't hurt at all. Just bled. So I think it depends.. Or maybe I just couldn't feel the pain? 0.o or liked it and didn't notice?.. Yeah I don't know.d:
iluffhimm 0
Or maybe his dick was that small :D
iluffhimm 0
Or maybe his dick was that small :D
talb1 7
Or maybe your partner had a small pp.
Nerry_fml 0
"my ****** doctor" lmao
graceinsheepwear 34
pp? grow up or get off.
geekpowerwtf 0
When is taking a 20 miles bike ride not a bad decision?
reallytho3 11
Good point...
suprmidgt 0
I did it yesterday and feel great. I don't have torn tissue in my nonexistent ****** though.
Stupend0us 7
Nothing wrong with exercise. I do 20 miles quite often on my mountain bike. It feels great and it provides a nice sense of accomplishment.
yeseniaaa 2
#6 FTW
schomes 0
I go on lots of 20 mile bike rides on my Trek
acdc923 0
My Great-uncle takes one everyday. No joke.
kbt13 0
this has the most thumbs ups ever
mommasgrl20028 5
Lol. Best comment I've ever seen on here.
storm1217 5
Only if your a giant lipid cell
dhall30 8
It sounds like something my best friends family would do.
babytunechi 0
ouch
pkthis 0
Pop acouple of zanex and take a few beers
j_cat187 20
Makes me glad I'm a guy
Ryan88USMC 0
Haha
ayobreezyy 1
Hello donna
Jumpingmonkey 6
LOSE not LOOSE!! God dammit Internet, every single time!!
1221jamw 11
Hey, Didi, how come if you're FML staff you have four submissions rejected? Lol.
vistamar 3
You know your a boss when people cant rate your comments :P
seanders 10
*loser. Lol jk
neonblue120 6
We should be able to read unconfured fmls. Just to see what people posted.
Saltime 0
65 - That wasn't ******* funny.
missfrenchie 11
It's still loser not looser because looser is the opposite of tighter -.- gosh
ileina 5
Say you have leg cramps and excuse yourself. It shouldn't be that hard to back down.
WCARlover 35
20 mile bike ride after a rough night? Someone didn't think that through very well
glutgyoogle 6
Uhm I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she said in the FML?
properbostonian 5
How would she gave planned for that if she didn't know how it would feel the first time?
pkthis 0
The best part about being a guy, we dont feel a thing :)
KendalKeller 3
Id like to give you a rough night ;)
RebekahBrooke 9
You think?
SteveTheJanitor 6
Pretty sure they know now
kenjames 4
She didn't apparently.
thebadmanpuntedb 7
Pretty sure this comment would not have half the amount of likes if it weren't for creepy pedophiles on FML creeping good looking girls. Just saying.
Bossman11 6
Says the guy with his shirt off^
michigander17777 0
hahahaha 150^^
arrowshockey18 2
Yourrr hottt ;)