Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, after I made a connection with someone I used to know from school, I came to find out the whole time we were “solely seeing” each other, he was banging the bartender, and some fellow bar patrons at the same time as the bartender. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss's wife. I work for my parents. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
awkward family reunion time.....
Ambient25 25
I hate to say this OP, but get used to it. Bartending is one of those jobs that invites people to sit, drink, and say what's on their mind. It's both a great job with great stories, and a shitty job with shitty drunks. You should get good tips though, so it's not all bad.
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Comments (78)
worldclassrager 41
Looks like to me he was a bit drunk...
peacejunior 12
That is the begenint
Omniprism 15
I'm confused by this comment. Wouldn't you know if it was your dad or not?
sammyjo06 14
She was just referring to his age...
ZeroRead 4
fml if what you meant is your first client was your uncle. who may be your father?
sickerthanyou 13
he is right, women suck!.
matthews_van 10
Throw ice and liquor at him
sugarbaby9908 20
WE meant women in general
ben_e_boy28 4
I didn't know bar goers were called "clients" ;)
tehdarkness 21
You're gonna have to deal with a lot of drunken nonsense in that industry. Time to get used to it!
lyssgross 16
Making no sense. Read it thrice and still doesn't suffice.