Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been super nice to me all day and I was enjoying the attention. At bedtime, he asked me if I was happy, I said yes, he asked if was I happy enough to try butt stuff. I said no, like I do every time he asks for butt stuff. He turned over and went to sleep. So much for being nice. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Maybe he was really tired? :s
EdenCrystal 21
This isn't really relevant but next time he does this you should say "Fine, then can you give me one?" and see his reaction
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Comments (137)
sugarcrisp 6
Could be worse. He could roll over, wake up and say "********?"
howlingwolf89 16
What the hell on earth is better than that!? I'd love you for eternity.
gtsjeff 10
My advice. More tongue, depth, spit, and eye contact.
nunurbiz 4
Maybe he's a morning person ;) or maybe he's having a problem with something... If a guy turns down a *******, definitely ask him if everything is ok
kittylevin 8
No one ever has to have sex with anyone. No problem with turning someone down.
Rawr6591 21
what are you even trying to imply
sartrow 8
obviously your terrible at giving blow jobs! if it's good, no man will ever turn one down! either that or your hubby is GAY GAY GAY!
BeepBeepSwerve 9
or maybe tired? Just because he turned down one ******* he's gay??? The stupidity in your comment is too strong
ZorroRooster 19
Even if he were gay, he could just close his eyes and pretend it was some dude blowing him. I would imagine gay men love ******** just as much as straight men do.
redbear15 8
What man turns down a ********? You just gotta lay there.
rec_chem 22
He's gay.
patch988 1
He's gay or your ugly