Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been super nice to me all day and I was enjoying the attention. At bedtime, he asked me if I was happy, I said yes, he asked if was I happy enough to try butt stuff. I said no, like I do every time he asks for butt stuff. He turned over and went to sleep. So much for being nice. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Maybe he was really tired? :s
EdenCrystal 21
This isn't really relevant but next time he does this you should say "Fine, then can you give me one?" and see his reaction
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Comments (137)
Agax 12
What kind of guy rejects a *******?
Shinybaconplays 17
You
rogwest 23
He just went full retard.. You don't ever go full retard....
ckcknight 13
Did you mean your girlfriend?
jamesr792 6
I'm so glad I married my wife instead of you. She gives amazing ********. Apparently you don't.
BBlah 26
Holy jackass
CrikOgresmasher 19
Pretty sure you're single and have been blue balled for years while you sit, fat and sweaty behind your computer, one hand under your desk
Edumcg 24
Watch out everybody, we've got a badass over here.
Godsofdracos 15
#29 -- if he masturbated then he wouldn't have blue balls...
Greg1986 13
^ logic'd lol
Smeelover27 15
I'm astounded that you get any with that type of attitude.
unfuckmylife 13
So u married your hand?
invalidate 2
her other boyfriend probably taught her.
lbanks_fml 10
Somebody pull his card, NOW!!
michael_shaqson 5
not all guys are up for it 24/7 op, be considerate. and #16 if you think a guy turning down sex is retarded, you might be the real retard
Setareh23 34
She was considerate. She asked him nicely if he wanted one. He's the one who was rude about it, saying "**** no." He could've just said he was tired.
tiernang 21
Maybe he said **** no to emphasize the fact that he was tired. If he just said i'm tired than she probably would've spent ten minutes trying to persuade him.
shudson186 17
Sometimes guys just aren't in the mood. It's hard to understand since everyone thinks they are sex machines. I can assure you that they sometimes just aren't interested. The way he told you no though is something that is unacceptable. Definitely talk to him about that.
RANDALL4801 11
i can never say my dog's name again the same way. his name is Frisky o_o
Merylwen 24
You do know that men are allowed to turn down sex, right?
living_in_chaos 8
Have you ever came to the conclusion that you're not good at giving head?
Nessco 36
#27 I've been told that a bad ******** is still better than no ******** at all.
RedPillSucks 33
So not true. There was this one time that the wire on her braces broke while .... *shudder* I can't relive that experience!!!