Today, I was tripped downstairs as a "joke" by my little brother. When I was yelling in pain from my broken arm, my mom was lecturing me to be thankful "one goddamn day a year". She also thinks I'm lying just to hide that I'm clumsy and my brother is innocent. He won't admit it. Happy Thanksgiving. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML
Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
Tripping people down the stairs is not a "joke" by any means. That sounds more like the makings of a sociopath.
TheSminty1 17
That's OK. You know where he sleeps
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Comments (17)
RichardPencil 32
I’m not sure whom you should be more thankful for: your rageaholic mom or your lying punk brother? Tough choice.
Glowworm56 27
Tripping people down the stairs is not a "joke" by any means. That sounds more like the makings of a sociopath.
TheSminty1 17
That's OK. You know where he sleeps
LolCandy 27
If you can, get a job and save up so you can get out as soon as possible OP. If the kid is a sociopath, they may escalate.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
Get out of that house as soon as you can. I hope by next year that you're away from your golden child brother and narc mother, celebrating your own Thanksgiving with people who actually love you.
inappropes 31
Maybe I'm weird but someone does this to me and I'm superglueing his mouth shut and other wonderful means of revenge. especially family.
GrumpyGrinch 23
Superglue doesn't really glue mouth shut. It does stick unpleasantly on the teeth for about a week but thats all. Been there done that.
Joseph Remington Rayburn 7
Gorilla Glue might do the trick. It instantly bonds skin together. I can have just a dab of it on my fingertip, and touch my finger and thumb together, and then it becomes a struggle to pull them apart.
PhoenixChick 26
It also burns the shit out of that super sensitive skin, depending on the type of glue
MidnaLink 35
What the **** did she expect you to be thankful for?
GUYMAINE 16
get video of you spitting in his mouth every night while he is sleeping. And then show him after a year
Virids 13
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
TumblrweedPasses 11
Could probably go to the authorities about it tbh Or clumsily slip and accidentally spike him in the eye with a pen before he kills all the extended family