Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I got to explain reusable period underwear to my mom, who once had to wear sanitary belts. She was horrified by the idea of underwear specifically designed to be bled into, as opposed to all the accidental bleeding into underwear not designed for it that happens every time I try to sleep on my period. FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, while we're on vacation, my 6 year-old son barged in the bathroom as I was changing my tampon. He was horrified and kept screaming, asking why I “pulled a blood rat out of my butt.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''Prudish'' to name a few. FML
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Top comments
happyhak 5
This is possibly the most graphic scientific FML I've ever read...
LolCakes111 7
If Intelligence is Genetic, your screwed.
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Comments (201)
QWERTYCommander 5
And I thought my sister was stupid because she didn't know she had a urethra until I told her when she was 14.
docscientist 10
Wtf? Can't she feel that they both come out in very separate holes?
polkadot3155 6
i would laugh if op was a guy :P
jobsman99 0
Wait till she with a boy and tries to direct his erect penis to the right locations.
Pendragon525 0
My mother had to explain to her sister that there isn't actually a bone in a "boner." She not only thought there was an actual bone, she thought it could be "broken easily." No matter what my mother said, my aunt refused to believe her. They were both married & in their 30's at the time.
cleio81 5
Kids today really worry me... Their IQ seems to be decreasing with every passing generation. Who doesn't notice there's more than one hole down there?!
pyrogirl6622 0
Wow...... Dosage ride the short bus or something?
varkey 7
Who thinks they pee out of their butt? FYL, your sister is retarded.
Bluemonster3 26
What an awkward conversation o_o
CHOMP3R 0
How old is she? If she's old enough to be having her period I would hope she's been educated.
Chixken 6
True