Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I got to explain reusable period underwear to my mom, who once had to wear sanitary belts. She was horrified by the idea of underwear specifically designed to be bled into, as opposed to all the accidental bleeding into underwear not designed for it that happens every time I try to sleep on my period. FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, while we're on vacation, my 6 year-old son barged in the bathroom as I was changing my tampon. He was horrified and kept screaming, asking why I “pulled a blood rat out of my butt.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''Prudish'' to name a few. FML
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Top comments
happyhak 5
This is possibly the most graphic scientific FML I've ever read...
LolCakes111 7
If Intelligence is Genetic, your screwed.
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Comments (201)
hottottie 0
I would never tell people she was my sister...
christyk26 0
I guess they really need to step it up on the sex ed courses...
daniellestatt 0
maybe she thought she was a chicken? xD
fml8396 0
I thought the same thing when I first started my period! Well not exactly, I thought your pee was supposed to be red. But it's supposed to be yellow ALL the time and if it's not. Something's wrong.
The_creator_fml 2
Rectum, damn near destroyed em! Lol
Tandycane 5
Health classes have really gone to hell then...but seriously...hasn't this kid ever rode the bus to school??
Angelastic_fml 18
Duh. You put the tampon in your cloaca.
Flamedude101 4
so that way youd be having anal AND vaginal sex at the same time!
hellodeandra 8
Just buy her pads.
bubo_fml 11
Correct...That's where the dick goes too...