Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I got to explain reusable period underwear to my mom, who once had to wear sanitary belts. She was horrified by the idea of underwear specifically designed to be bled into, as opposed to all the accidental bleeding into underwear not designed for it that happens every time I try to sleep on my period. FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, while we're on vacation, my 6 year-old son barged in the bathroom as I was changing my tampon. He was horrified and kept screaming, asking why I “pulled a blood rat out of my butt.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''Prudish'' to name a few. FML
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Top comments
happyhak 5
This is possibly the most graphic scientific FML I've ever read...
LolCakes111 7
If Intelligence is Genetic, your screwed.
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Comments (201)
yenidewi 11
awwwwww ... lol
dloyfbc 0
should have just walked away and let her do it.
icic6772 0
How old is your sister?
imratedG 5
what what up the butt? Dx
SelenaMilkshake 17
I had the exact same conversation with a friend from school, were both 15.
Chixken 6
No offense... But your sister is kinda stupid (:
bignardz101 14
Should have let her do it
caitiebug1119 15
So this means between potty training and puberty, she hasn't been wiping both areas. Her butt and front end hasn't been properly wiped since she was in diapers. I'm sorry, but how the frick do you not notice your front end is wet after you pee? I'd tell your mom or whoever was supposed to teach her all this that they unfortunately failed. I also hope that your sister is very young (less than 8 years old) and somehow knows what a tampon is.
dannnngthatsux 19
Maybe she did wipe, just that she wiped everything our just wiped where it was dirty. This might explain all those infections down there...
guineagirl 18
im one of those ''lucky'' girls to get their period at the age of 9 and honestlky i kinda panicked even though i knew what it was so she could have just panicked or something and wasnt really thinking or if shes really young she could have heard something about tampons on tv or the internet or something and was curious
Thunderstruck14 30
On gosh! She couldn't have possibly been wiping properly if she though poo and pee came from the same hole!
dannnngthatsux 19
I gotta know, what class in school taught correct wiping procedures? " no no Jenny front to back! Well dang it now you have to go to the bathroom again!"