Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I got to explain reusable period underwear to my mom, who once had to wear sanitary belts. She was horrified by the idea of underwear specifically designed to be bled into, as opposed to all the accidental bleeding into underwear not designed for it that happens every time I try to sleep on my period. FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, while we're on vacation, my 6 year-old son barged in the bathroom as I was changing my tampon. He was horrified and kept screaming, asking why I “pulled a blood rat out of my butt.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''Prudish'' to name a few. FML
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Top comments
happyhak 5
This is possibly the most graphic scientific FML I've ever read...
LolCakes111 7
If Intelligence is Genetic, your screwed.
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Comments (201)
JinxosGirl87 0
She needs to stay away from tampons. Suggest she wear a diaper instead.
kelovath 8
1. That might be the dumbest chick I've ever heard about. 2. You honestly said "rectum"?!
kelovath 8
Calm down man lol I only said that to see people's reactions :P
RazorbacksHogs13 0
Wow!!!! Just wow!!!
Bullpine 11
F her life for no one ever teaching her earlier and saving her from the embarressment of asking you
Brandi_Faith 34
Good point!! I didn't even think about that. I think everyone was so caught up with the thinking 3 holes were only 1, and so we totally forgot how the younger sister that asked would've felt!! That would be extremely embarrassing! I hope they were really close!
malignantmegan 3
Then how does she ********** with only one hole? 0.o
cbdee 8
Obviously she rubs the shit outta her 1 hole..literally!
SteelCladAngel 0
Contrary to popular opinion not everyone masturbates.
dannnngthatsux 19
98, Um. Yeah. Doesn't **********. I've got a bridge to sell you...
MeB4u 0
It puts the tampon on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again!
Alexisthebestest 16
PUT THE TAMPON IN THE ******* BASKET!
twofirstnames 12
When I read this I totally laughed. Idk if it's from the fact your sister seems stupid, or the fact that you used the word rectum. (:
perdix 31
My dog got hit by a car -- right in the asshole. You mean "rectum." Rectum? It damn near killed him! Too bad the OP blurted out that advice -- she missed out on an epic prank!
FarSide 23
lmfao!
dannnngthatsux 19
Dammit perdix, 53, you took my joke.
daydreamer244 13
she's going to have some badddddd periods.
Senior29 8
nah its the belly button. thats where girls pee from :)
Btreasure 8
I don't understand what's the FML?? your a terrible teacher?