Today, at 1:30 a.m., a big ass bat squeezed its nasty body through the bottom crack of the door. My sweet little Corgi cowered on the bed as the bat flew circles around my head. I'll be moving now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML
Today, I saw a bat in a cabinet. I slammed the cabinet as hard as I could, which knocked the bat off the door and got its head stuck between the two doors, decapitating it. Its two beady eyes were judging me. I haven't even had my coffee yet. FML
Today, a bat flew into my house. We locked it in my brother's room, complete with cats, and just barely got it back outside alive. We later found out it was an endangered species, so we also narrowly avoided arrest. FML
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML
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Top comments
coius 23
Been there, done that. They house I grew up in had bats in the attic (unfinished crawlspace of a two-story (3 stories for those british) and they would come down through walls to the basement at least 4x a year. Just call animal control. Helps if you have a large fishing net.
Shzusuziq 16
Catch it, or have it caught. It’s certainly not a reason to move.
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Comments (4)
bloopaloop 27
It’s like ordering Chinese food delivery but fresher!
coius 23
Been there, done that. They house I grew up in had bats in the attic (unfinished crawlspace of a two-story (3 stories for those british) and they would come down through walls to the basement at least 4x a year. Just call animal control. Helps if you have a large fishing net.
Shzusuziq 16
Catch it, or have it caught. It’s certainly not a reason to move.
hm1220 1
make sure you get vaccinated for rabies if the bat bit you or you were asleep with it in the house couldn't be tested or tested positive rabies is 100% lethal