Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
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Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
You need to have a serious talk. That is not okay.
MDoremis 38
You must be so proud.
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Comments (242)
Kikiers21042 18
That's rape they can't consent if they are drunk... You need to get him help
jables38 11
Surprised no one here has mentioned the aids. No protection anal? Your asking for it
Moonditch_fml 19
As a few people have said, safe sex isn't just to prevent pregnancy, but STD/STIs as well. You might want to sit him down for another talk.
grgn123 0
why is this up for debate? if he feels the need to get a girl so drunk that she consents to something she would otherwise not do sober, then yes it classifies as rape.
sailorarctic 22
I'm not a #feminazi, but your son is a product of rape culture if I ever saw one.
allyboss78 16
It sounds like your son is still a virgin. I'm pretty sure he's full of shit.
Xion0014 20
If he doesn't listen, then you're not very good at parenting now are you..
_awwhellnaw_ 45
I kinda took it as a joke. My friends and I go out to have fun and a few drinks with no intentions of having sex. If my parents insisted I bought condoms, I'd give them a sarcastic remark before leaving.
crazycly 7
Ive had 15 standard drinks today. My girlfriend about to rape me. I might even consent to anal. Good times! :)
420west 4
u raised him lol