Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML
Today, after barely sleeping all week, I tried some ASMR videos to help me fall asleep. Both my dogs and my husband are out cold, snoring so loud I can't even hear the ASMR. FML
Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML
Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML
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Top comments
sallen0046 4
So you've surrounded yourself with animals you did not bother to train - that's your fault. As for the boyfriend, you've chosen to complain about the snoring instead of getting him to reposition or getting him checked out to see what's causing the snoring - again, your fault. Either buy some ear plugs or get used to the noise.
denvan 0
Next time go buy ear plugs and you'll be set
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Comments (51)
denvan 0
Next time go buy ear plugs and you'll be set
helloletsgo 0
kick your boyfriend on the floor and buy your dog a collar that sprays a shit smell everytime they bark
Shinigumi 0
#4 that's horrible OP, beat solution is to tape you dog mouth, trim you cats nails and clip you BF nose :)
Shinigumi 0
your*
aardvarkish 17
4, hilarious!
Burgessnk 0
Until you buy a set of earplugs
cycle227 3
YDI for not coming to this solution...
FYLDeep 26
You should have his snoring looked at. I think there are effective treatments for that nowadays. I think you'll have to train your pets better, or have the dogs sleep inside or something.
HaloReachIsCool 6
FYLDeep is that the In Flames logo as ur pic? that band is awesome :D
FYLDeep 26
Yes, my pic is in fact the In Flames Jesterhead. Particularly because In Flames is the shit.
SARSvirus79 0
A whole 3 hours? Consider yourself lucky, my friend. Also, shame on you for having cats. They are agents of Satan.
BoColors 0
who said agents of satan are a bad thing? >:)
SARSvirus79 0
A valid point.
romano07 0
lol ask a devout Christian that xD
Wuhuh 0
You need to invest in some Tylenol PM.
perdix 31
Get your boyfriend some Breathe-Rite strips or replace him with a guy who has well-behaved pets. And take massive doses of Nyquil.
alexFYL 11
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
dani22097 0
get of of those bark of things or even better, a collar that zaps the sh*t out of him (could be used for the boyfriend or dog....)
kindlystfupls 0
invest in some earplugs! they work wonders.
beavisjones 0
Scratching post for the cat and a bark collar for both the boyfriend and the dog. Then sleep tight.
cheeseheadandjel 0
your lucky I had no sleep