Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
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Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
You need to have a serious talk. That is not okay.
MDoremis 38
You must be so proud.
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Comments (242)
ArcheryArtist 20
Wow, you need to give him a good talk
merryhappy1887 20
So he's a rapist and he doesn't know what HIV is? Good job, dad.
vikky538 29
He knows way more ways than you OP. Have a serious talk with him.. Thats not a healthy start for him...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Obviously, he failed sex ed.
be82tw 17
First of all, OP, your son is creepy. Sorry. FYL. I hope it was just a creepy joke and not a creepy statement of intent. As far as everyone immediately saying it is rape to have sex with someone under the influence of drugs or alcohol, that is not quite the case, though depending on his behavior at these clubs OP's son might be on either side of this line. The US courts have generally upheld two very different standards regarding alcohol and drugs. 1) An individual is still responsible for all actions they take under drugs they willingly and knowingly took, barring things like certain prescribed medications and their side effects, just the same as when sober (think drunk driving and assault cases). 2) That people administering drugs in order to subvert someone's consent and then having sex with them is considered rape. Whether we can call this rape from a legal point of view really hinges on the second part: does buying drinks from someone there who is willingly and knowingly drinking count as administering drug, or do we consider it part of their own poor decision making just as sober? Is this an attempt to subvert their consent or is this him being aware of the end result of the chain events as they play out naturally? There is a reason that this very unfortunate area of criminal law remains poorly defined, and I doubt it is going to get less murky any time soon.
OneFourNine 9
Get him tested for STD NOW. His life is in danger - as well as the life of all his future victims.
Cebolamole 13
YDI. You raised him, he learned about what being a real man is from you (or he should of). Lock him up in his room? Take away some privileges? Punish him! Be a parent!
1stones 8
Congratulation on raising the most fkd up fuckboi
limabeans101029 21
He might have been joking but, still, I'm shocked that there are actually people in the comments defending what he said about getting girls drunk in order to get them to have anal with him. That's not even a little bit okay.
a1_z9 10
People seem to be blinded by the idea that rape is only carried out by monsters in dark alleys on modestly dressed young girls coming home from bible study. They can't see the problem with putting their own pleasure before another person's well-being. I hope everyone defending this is just all talk.
ClimbingPotato 0
YTDI. Next time instead of condoms, try offering an education maybe.