Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
You need to have a serious talk. That is not okay.
MDoremis 38
You must be so proud.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (242)
MathIsStupid 11
The Bill Cosby is strong with this one.
goozeo 11
"No matter what he never listens" doesn't absolve you of any fault. You need to show him who's boss
messymessiah 11
Well you raised him...
HowToGetFired 15
Taught him well ?
militarybrat 21
You still use condoms for anal jackass. And yeah, thats rape.
mrblackdocument 18
Oh!
jlujan00_fml 9
If he's old enough to go clubbing he is too old to be living at your house sir.
crys777 5
The correct term is rapist. Any person being drunk is not in a state of mind to consent to sex.
thunder_chicken 5
You deserved that for being a horrible parent.
YoursAlways98 13
Forcing unprotected anal sex on strangers...wow your son sucks.