Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML
Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML
Today, my supervisor’s first words when looking at my work were, “What is this shit?!” I explained that I'd done it exactly like she told me to. She just kept on grumbling because she couldn’t find a single thing I had done wrong, which apparently ruined her day. FML
Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML
Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no one. FML
Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
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Top comments
jim_witness 0
You can retort: "I find you unmotivating and unskilled as a manager. You have no people skills and require a stronger mouthwash. A good manager can facilitate anyone. You are a poopy-head."
diskincluded 0
Apparently you were wrong, he can't give you constructive criticism.
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Comments (43)
jessjessjess_fml 0
Sue!
thatonekid2010 0
you should use that advice to your advantage.
apfunction 0
for what? my god, people try to sue over ANYTHING these days.
runtothehills 0
well, at least we are suing and not smoking weed.
tomtm7 0
#21, its called multitasking
kasumirock 13
you can't sue your boss because YOU have a shitty work performance.
ashleylucky16 6
#28...you are clearly boss...WINNING!
Adam_B 0
That's the point at which you offer to eave if you're such a problem. Of course, being that it's so sudden, maybe 3 months' severance with ful benefits? I think when someone says something like that, he's trying o get you to quit because lots of places, it's real hard to fire someone. Good compromise is mutual resignaton with benefits.
22cute 17
That rarely happens in the US. The benefits & severance pay.
jim_witness 0
You can retort: "I find you unmotivating and unskilled as a manager. You have no people skills and require a stronger mouthwash. A good manager can facilitate anyone. You are a poopy-head."
tbeaun 0
Does this guy sugar-coat everything??
pinkfrenchrose 5
What a softie.
diskincluded 0
Apparently you were wrong, he can't give you constructive criticism.
raidos 0
I can only hope to be like him one day
ashleylucky16 6
Agreed. Well if he at some point in his life went trans-gender that is.
prettygirlsonly 0
#8 So, you hope you can be a complete ignorant... thts not the way to treat human beings and its not, obviously, the way to motivate your employees. About the FML: WHT A JERK!
fear_is_here 0
I'm sorry I didn't think you'd put it on the Internet oh well thou do suck your fired
lives_ppl 0
lol i love how you wrote this with such awful spelling and grammar
brunoisbeast 0
constructive? I think not