Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I play video games. No, not that I play too many video games or have an addiction to video games. Just that I play them, period. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Corn chip addiction is some serious shit.
crankawank 19
It's nice to know that you care about her enough to do that, though. You're much better than all the douchebag boyfriends usually featured on FML.
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Comments (141)
xd3box 4
I won't waste my time coming up with a corny first comment.
21jason 9
No I prefer cheesy comments
Dalliance 4
Even if she was quitting tobacco, would she really need THAT much support? For you to stay home?
PleaseStayChill 9
A corn chip addiction would be very hard to get over. She's going to need all of the support she can get.
starman02 12
I wouldn't have came home If I thought she was quitting tobacco.. People get so moody! Eeeep! That was really nice of you though
Zoh_Aubrey 8
How can the Fritos company sleep at night? ::sobs::
theslimshadylp 6
Yah I would stay away. If smokers go even one hour without cigarettes they flip the **** out.
domingocool 4
Well, corn chips are pretty good...
chellyX92 8
Obviously you've never dealt with addiction or someoe who was addicted to something. They need support in order to get better.
the_blind_wonder 1
Your poor girlfriend. She's addicted to tobacco as well as corn chips? Makes you wonder if that's all she's addicted to. Who knows? She could even be addicted to you. Ha ha! By the way, no, we smokers don't flip the **** out if we go an hour without smoking. At least, I don't.
chellyX92 8
I remember my mom went a day with out ciggs. So while she was making breakfast she was in a bad mood so I politely asked what was wrong. She said she was out of cigarettes so I once again politely suggested to buy some more. She grabbed a spatula and threw it at me. I was only like 7. Now I laugh about it but addiction can be scary lol.
mrsquiggles6900 5
63- that is not true. I have went more than one hour without a cigarette and I do not flip the **** out. Just sayin!
starman02 12
I agree 113! I dont get smoke breaks at work, so I go 10hours without one, and I still have a smile on my face :)
isabella3095 5
You sir are an idiot.
ConBroChilll 9
well i just still think smoking is utterly disgusting
cassbird09 12
Every one is different though. While some people can go ages without a smoke once they quit it can be harder to bridge that gap. Mainly because in your mind you know you can't have one, whereas before you knew you could whenever/when your shift ended. Etc.
redhedsaysrawr 18
Well... encourage her that its the same kind of thing as quitting for tobacco and to try that as well... and, this is... wow this is just a giant fail...
FlavorlessPie 7
Personally, I believe corn chips can ruin one's life just as much as tobacco. How? I have no clue..
onlychildFTW 34
Haha yes they can! You have to go to the store and buy them all the time! You won't have time to work! No, a tobacco addiction is way worse then a corn chip one.
zandalee 20
Bad time to quick corn chips! You need them to keep your energy levels up whilst watching the Olympics! Go the Kiwis!!!!!!!!!!
tennisrapper1 14
That's very thoughtful of you OP. I know it didn't mean as much to you, but it probably meant a lot to her.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Tell her she will feel absolutely a-maize-ing when she finally quits for good.
datoismyname 22
That was corny 41
norotors 16
It's good for op because now she'll be less far.
SonOfAMitch 14
OP? Was her father addicted to corn chips too? Then she'd be a 'chip off the old block!'
ohSNAPyall 27
She'll be ever grateful that you warded off the Frito Bandito.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Shush 101 - stop talking cob-blers.
Sinamoi 18
Corn chip addiction is some serious shit.
yahoowizard 16
You try staying away from Doritos for a week
ImaSnowman 2
"Hi, I'm Cody, and I'm a corn chip addict,..."
Cartera 10
36 - They leave the worst after taste in the morning though!
boating_guy 33
don't you brush your teeth??
cartooncharacter 9
36 challenge accepted. ... Challenge complete! I haven't eaten Doritos for over 2 months.
boydeee01 7
82- k.
crankawank 19
It's nice to know that you care about her enough to do that, though. You're much better than all the douchebag boyfriends usually featured on FML.
zandalee 20
True that. Seems to be an epidemic of douchebag boyfriends lately.
Hairnomore 7
Long time listener, First Time caller!
cassidy0922 6
Why would she want to quit that addiction instead of the bad one? I think an addiction To corn chips is better than one to tobacco...
lidsthesquid 4
=_=
cassidy0922 6
-_-
Nekogami 14
o_o
ali094king 4
-_o pirate
Snackycake 20
(>••)> anyone need a hug?
divadevon 0
0-0
Jordan740 6
You've really got to watch the corn chips these days...
CallMeMcFeelii 14
My uncle who was always a corn chip eater recently had to have his tongue cut out. The salt on the corn chips took all the moister out of his mouth. Now I live a corn chip free life, and I hope you will too.
Jordan740 6
I'm currently a recovering corn chip addict.
lovebeecharmer 6
Baby steps.
kidepicfest 0
My thoughts exactly.