Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, the cops were called on our apartment because they heard angry yelling and loud screams. I was having a Mario Kart party with some friends over and we got too into the game. FML
Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny nitwit like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML
Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
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Top comments
Juicenub 25
Beating someone up with a baseball bat because they screwed you over in Mario Kart is still a valid reason in my opinion.
_Peppermint_ 34
You did the right thing
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Comments (109)
clevergirl98 20
He must be really competitive
tantanpanda 26
Competitive or not, it's still fun to ram someone off the course.
WhatsMyLineAgain 8
'Must be really competetive'? Thats how you play the game.
brand125 17
more like SHES competitive for screaming over it. haha..
slingerslasher 24
Use the baseball bat on the ******* blue shells
Juicenub 25
Beating someone up with a baseball bat because they screwed you over in Mario Kart is still a valid reason in my opinion.
ScarredVox92 16
Same.
DaBayst 15
Especially if he used a blue shell.
appygirlify 17
or that damn banana peel
psychopolarbear 28
"Break out the bats kids. We're playing Mario Karts." And who says video games offer no exercise? You know how much effort it takes to chase someone down with a bat?
WD_Stevens 22
Rainbow Road is outside the law.
TheEpicWario 26
Not quite as valid as it would be if it were Mario Party though.
Sariasprincy 7
Been ruining relationships since 1992....
christian1509 21
He been abusive before, or were just overreacting?
quickit 24
Did you even try reading the FML?
_Peppermint_ 34
You did the right thing
RebeccaRFT 18
Yeah OP, you did good. Knowing my brother, he wouldn't have done a thing if he heard me screaming. It's nice to know there are siblings who care.
KitchKraft 21
You would be surprised. Your brother probably cares a lot more about you than you think.
peceout 29
At least that was it and she wasn't being physically hit. You're a good person for trying to defend your sister. Kudos to you Op.
Brandi_Faith 34
I love this FML. I love how it's worded and I love how ready you were to take this guy down for laying a hand on your sister! You sound like one of my brothers and exactly how they would react if I was being hurt by someone. Not just fists, but a bat and the attitude of "this guy isn't coming up the stairs alive." It's cute. Good job op!
SullenPeak8 15
well it nice to know you care that much about your sister. not many siblings care for each other
el_mermaid 16
it's survival of the fittest.
hasooon 24
Its actually the other way around. Many siblings do care of each other, rarely we see some one who doesn't care of his/her brother/sister. OP keep doing what you are doing. Not yoga.
may14th 26
most siblings do care about each other but while growing up its hard to see that.
tdawg91 17
Agree with #51. The sibling arrangement is like "no one kicks my dog but me" one example is when my sister and I got in to a massive fight and wound up with black eyes and bruised egos because we stole each others clothes..... A week later, she knocked a boy out because he punched me in the arm after a vaccination
patts_ 23
Don't feel bad. You were doing a good thing.
rozalyn77 15
At least you were prepared!
pauliegon 18
Good for you for going down to check up on her, even if it didn't go the way you thought it would.
ohSNAPyall 27
And thankfully, it didn't go as you thought it had been going.