Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Sorry, I'm missing the FML here. With all the theaters closed, one would think you'd be grateful to have some live drama for entertainment.
MidnaLink 35
I love this guy! Reminds me of the the story a friend told of a street preacher who got beaten up while he was in a bank. Apparently, the preacher was ranting against LGBTQ or something like that, and two guys nearby pretended to be "together", then they beat the crap out of him. (Trust me, he tells it better)
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Sorry, I'm missing the FML here. With all the theaters closed, one would think you'd be grateful to have some live drama for entertainment.
MidnaLink 35
I love this guy! Reminds me of the the story a friend told of a street preacher who got beaten up while he was in a bank. Apparently, the preacher was ranting against LGBTQ or something like that, and two guys nearby pretended to be "together", then they beat the crap out of him. (Trust me, he tells it better)
coius 23
Best response I’ve heard of. Love it.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Hahahaha!! Great response! Why do those religious nuts always choose places where people have no choice but to listen to their bullshit?
Charlie Given 28
that is why they choose those particular locations because they know people are waiting in line or can't get out of line or are stuck in a subway car forcing them to listen
phybreawptic 13
.... Aaaaand, scene! Your subway trip was slightly less mundane FYL i guess.
jc1015 25
yeah not sure how you got featured...this isn't even close to causing you any negative issues in any way
Doomthebloom 4
Your life's doesn't suck because this has nothing to do with you.