Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cybersex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Solano2580 24
YDI. You went in there expecting to have the best sex of your life but since it turned out badly you have the tone like he's not worth it and that you wasted your time. I bet you aren't as good as you think either OP.
kdgsmiley 23
That's definitely a tough one, OP. If you're pretty interested in this guy and it's something worth pursuing, perhaps more communication about what pleases you would help improve things.
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Comments (59)
Solano2580 24
YDI. You went in there expecting to have the best sex of your life but since it turned out badly you have the tone like he's not worth it and that you wasted your time. I bet you aren't as good as you think either OP.
rldostie 19
Geez, project much? She never said she expected it to be the BEST sex, but at least GOOD sex. Maybe he's worth it to try again and see if some communication can even things out but don't hate just because she's upset that he didn't perform well. Life's too short for bad sex.
LastResort318 14
Said like a ****.
sneezershoebox 13
#38 Don't be a douche for once and maybe someone would bang you
DoomedGemini 38
Life's too short for bad sex? Then how will anyone learn? Most people aren't born sex gods, you have to learn and get better at it. It DOES seem she raised her expectations up for some sex God because that's what our imagination does. Considering she apparently used the idea of him a LOT, she probably built this idea of him up to be the perfect pleaser. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you realize that's not going to happen. Instead of going "ew bad sex" why don't you stop thinking of only yourself and help.
8313girl 28
I say OP give him a second chance. Try to guide him in ways to give her an ****** and better sexual experience. He probably doesn't even know he sucked. Tell him what you want OP.
Setareh23 34
I agree with #12. I don't think it's a bad thing to have certain expectations, but if they aren't met you shouldn't have such a bad attitude about it. Instead you should communicate a bit and try to improve things. For example, I'd expect kisses and hugs. If they didn't happen though, I'd let the dude know that those are important to me before/during/after sex and we'd work from there. And for people saying "but what if there was communication and stuff, but they either couldn't get better or refused to"...of course in those cases I'd understand more (since sex is an important part of a relationship) but that was CLEARLY not the case for OP. This was her first time with him, and her condescending tone strongly implies she'd like to keep it that way. No one is forced to have sex with someone they don't want to, but if they go around bitching and complaining without putting even an ounce of effort than they can hardly expect to gain our sympathies.
lexred 30
That's why they say....Expectations hurt.
trtnt25 19
My boyfriend wasn't the best our first time but after working with him and teaching him some tricks that actually work and now we have some really great sex. It's up to you if you wanna try it out again but communication is what's best
ragnarok1540 39
You can't really expect a guy to automatically live up to your private fantasies during your first time having sex. Rather than complaining, maybe you can actually talk to him about changing up the bedroom routine. Perhaps some more foreplay and let him get in on the "bean-flicking" action.
Queen_of_Night 20
This is the first time I have ever heard "bean flicking". I do believe that's enough internet for tonight.
nikki465 14
Never enough internet.
Xion0014 20
It actually sounds painful xD
SapphireBlueELF 18
I think sex only gets better through communications.. Try talking to him...
rldostie 19
If he's open to communication and guidance, you may be able to work through it. You can always try again and see if things get better. Sometimes sex for the first time with a new partner is rocky and some people don't perform as well. But if he's a two pump chump, sorry, OP, that sucks. Life is too short for bad sex.
brainsoverbeauty 21
I don't know why everyone keeps voting you down. Sometimes it's not as simple as communicating your wants and needs. The partner may be inexperienced with no expressed desire to learn and improve. Other times it may be a medical condition, such as erectile dysfunction and/or premature ejaculation and he's not willing to take the necessary steps to rectify the situation. I've heard it all.
DoomedGemini 38
Because she refuses to acknowledge op MIGHT have played a big role in her own disappointment and keeps saying things like "life is too short for bad sex".
rldostie 19
I "refused"? I must have missed that conversation. I also said "life is too short..." all of twice. It's meant to be a light hearted jest but clearly I need to be more serious on FML. What evidence do we have that the OP was the cause of bad sex? She clearly has had good sex before so it's less likely that she is the bad partner. But like I said originally, sometimes first times are rocky and more communication is needed. It's not like I was being unreasonable.
DoomedGemini 38
You repeatedly refuse the thought that op built up her expectations. Which is also backed up by the username "whataletdown".
rldostie 19
Um...no. She never said the issue was that he didn't live up to her expectations. The issue was that the sex was horrible. These are two different things. It's very reasonable to expect decent sex when you start with a partner. Maybe not world shattering sex, but you expect that it's going to be good. Worst sex means it was a whole lot worse than just failed expectations.
ugafan29379 18
Am I the only one who is more curious about the term bean flicking than the FML post?
lulu889x 22
I heard it for the first time in the movie The Ugly Truth. I died laughing the first time I heard the term.
fakedsincerity 32
Practice, communicate and learn each other's bodies and tell each other what you want and maybe it'll reach your expectations one day. Expecting perfection on the first time is unrealistic.