Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
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Top comments
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmfao! Harold and Kumar quotes! ahahahah
deathartisan 0
hahaha. fyl op. but he is a funny guy. you should find a better quote to pull on him if you make him go down on you
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Comments (220)
masterrbASIAN 0
fight fire with fire " mayonnaise all over my body! "
eradicator178 0
Good grief, how lame!!
KingsBlade 0
might of been a turn on for him maybe?
Misguided_Ghost 0
you should have just stopped got up and look at him and say no then walk away. that would have made him feel stupid.
imdeborah 0
how is this an FML?
BATjr 0
that's awesome
azreal_13 0
haha my boyfriends would do the Same
wtf20007 10
boyfriends?? you have Many?
13__Loki__13 1
Cockmeat sandwich makes it's own sauce ;P Seriously - dump him, he's a loser. Sandwich? Really? I have said some dumb shit in the heat of the moment but nothing quite that stupid. You should have stopped right there and left.
chynab 0
woweeee
omey123 0
Eww that gives you a weird image