Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Mideoyeo 12
Its like people don't even think things through these days
gojira666 7
Thats where my mind went too....
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Comments (182)
Aug1508 9
Woah... Maybe she needs to clean her ears.
ALpein 0
That's disgusting! How dare you write such vulgar things!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Your bathroom habits? Try explaining to her that you actually took your kids to the pool. Take pictures, take a viagra. Prove her wrong! Prove to her that you don't wazz in the pool!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Damn! *video
evilplatypus 39
Really glad you clarified that one. I was VERY confused what Viagra had to do with children...
brackaman 18
Oh believe me, I'm sure viagra has a lot to do with children. Some of them wouldn't even be here without viagra.
Oreohugzpenny 4
Yes show the hitch she was wrong! !!!!!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Am I the only one that thinks this is even more funny with "viagra" than with "video" ??
lonkite101 14
93- yes you are. Wanna **** and duck? Wanna hitch a bitch? Wanna lick a dick? Wanna have a fina ******? Wanna gut a butt? Wanna lube a boob?
TarieBoo 2
111- wtf???
lonkite101 14
131- lol sorry my friend gets onto my account a lot. Trust me, I'm not that messed up. :@
JustDerpin 11
I favorited this FML because I really love this comment..
noisebox 1
My advice? Loose that so called friend or pull the same thing to her next time. Some people ONLY understand their own medicine given back to them...
THE_A_TEEN 28
What do you mean by "loose that friend"? It sounds completely wrong in some ways.
Michele2luv 8
You are just spewing words. You make no freaking sense . . .
KarenEsau 1
nobody asked for your advice
the_true_batman 10
Loose the friend? That would be the dumbest possible course of action. Tighten the friend until your muscles give out.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe that's a euphemism for "dumping" the friend in that "pool".
Deannie88 6
I'm not tryin to be rude but that is funny. And I've never heard anyone say that before, the bathroom phrase I mean.
cutemonsterx3 6
I never heard that phrase either
stellasue11 38
people also say " i gotta drop the cosbys off at the pool" around here, so racist!!!
bmkc4 1
Haha that is awesome! That is exactly what I would have thought.
theMelimda 3
Sometimes I wish there was a like button on these fmls. This made me laugh!
Screwie 25
Favorite it.
GirlOnFire143 6
I love this... your friend is so cool.
tennisrapper1 14
Doesn't matter. Just tell her the truth and it will b resolved. Your life isn't ******.
tennisrapper1 14
Be*
inkedav 8
Why Should you never swim on a full stomach?... Because its much easier to swim in water ya dingus.. :l
THE_A_TEEN 28
What the hell does that have to do with the FML? Second note: at least it was creative.