Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mideoyeo 12
Its like people don't even think things through these days
gojira666 7
Thats where my mind went too....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
retrorewind 13
so if you really had to go to the toilet, would she wanted you to really say you had to go sh!t...?!!
Poetrylover102 6
Nothing like dropping the Cosby kids off at school!
RedPillSucks 33
That's ****** up, man...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
That's not funny.
canjeelo 0
I really thought you WERE taking your kids to the pool Your friend has a sick mind
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Tell her the kids are great swimmers down and you don't plan on flushing them any time soon.
CountMango 5
How does one even reach a conclusion like that?...
fordman22 0
Pooping in pools is fun!
OfficeNinja 5
Next time invite her over for brownies. Then say you need to drop a deuce in the brownie bowl, and drop a "2" card (from a deck of poker cards) into the bowl. Then say sometimes a literal statement IS a literal statement.
Oreohugzpenny 4
How did she get that idea???
Zomg_Okay 27
Dropping the kids off at the pool is a common slang phrase for (as far as I know) taking a shit.
perdix 31
Why do you feel the need to take a dump in the local pool? You're wasting your money on swimming lessons -- those little ***** can't learn to swim!
jdawg12345 2
Assumptions...